Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue
by literalsamweir
Summary: Sequel to: The First Freelancer Lillian Yang is back! But is she better than ever? With a new team to lead, annoying reds to deal with, and memories floating around in the back of her mind that she can't quite place a finger on, how will she handle the blood gulch chronicles? Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own Red vs. Blue. Rated T just in case; may go up.
1. Chapter 1

_You Ever Wonder Why They're There?_

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Sam looked up from where she was seated on the edge of red base. Her gun was placed next her, along with her helmet, as she swung her legs back and forth.

Her fellow privates, Grif and Simmons, were currently having a very philosophical discussion about their pointless lives.

"It's one of life's great mysteries, isn't it?" Grif answered, staring dramatically into the sun. "Why _are_ we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic conscience, or is there really a God?"

Sam rolled her eyes, looking away and ignoring the rest of his speech.

"What?" Simmons asked, frowning. "I meant, like, why are we out _here_? In this canyon?"

Sam snorted as Grif started stuttering to cover up his mistake.

"Seriously though, why _are_ we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, with no way in or out," Simmons said, nodding his head towards the middle of the canyon.

"And the only reason that we set up a red base here," Simmons continued, "is because they have a blue base over there. And the only reason they have a blue base over there is because we have a red base here."

Sam stood up, placing her helmet back on and walking next to Simmons. "Yes, that's because we're fighting each other," she said.

"No-no, but I mean, even if we were to surrender today, and they were to come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon," Simmons was ranting now, not able to wrap his mind around the ridiculous idea. "Whoop-de-fucking-do!"

Sam rolled her eyes once more, looking at Grif, who started to agree with Simmons.

"I don't know why we're here either, but if you guys don't stop talking, _neither_ of you will be here anymore."

* * *

"What are they doing?"

"What?"

"I said, 'What are they doing now?'"

Lily looked over and glared at Church and Tucker. All they ever did was bicker back and forth. Currently, they were on a cliff, attempting to spy on the blues. Lily had given Church the sniper rifle, partly because she didn't trust Tucker, and partly because she was too lazy to do it herself.

"God damn!" Church shouted, turning to scowl at Tucker. "I am getting sick of answering that question!"

Lily groaned and put her pistol back in it's holster.

"Hey you have the fucking rifle!" Tucker complained, pointing at the rifle for emphasis. "I can't see shit. Don't bitch at me because I'm not going to just sit up here and play with my dick all d-"

"Okay, okay," Lily cut him off and held her hands out. "Look: They're just standing there and talking," she said, pointing to the red base. "I even knew that _without_ the fucking rifle, because all they ever do is stand there and talk! That's what they were doing _last_ time you asked, and what they'll be doing for the rest of their time in this God forsaken canyon. So the next fucking time you ask, 'What're they doing?'" Lily made her voice sound low and stupid, "The answer is gonna be, 'They're still just standing! And they're still just talking!'" she finished, giving a harsh glare at Tucker, though he couldn't see it with her helmet on.

He was silent for a moment before turning back to Church and asking, "What are they talking about?"

"I fucking hate you."

* * *

"Talk about a waste of resources," Grif was saying, moving his hands around as he spoke. "I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life. You know, fight _them_."

Sam snorted, "Yeah, no shit. They should put _us_ in charge."

"Ladies! Front and center on the double!" Came Sarge's gruff voice from down below, causing each private to groan in annoyance.

"Yes, sir!"

"Fuck me," Sam mumbled, picking up her rifle and following Simmons down.

"You don't gotta tell me twice," Grif snorted from behind her, causing the brunette girl to roll her eyes but smirk under her helmet.

"Hurry up, ladies!" Sarge yelled at them. "This ain't no ice cream social!"

"'Ice cream social?'" Sam asked Simmons, who only shrugged next to her.

"Quit the pillow-talk, you three," Sarge chastised. "Now, does anyone wanna guess...why I gathered you here...today?"

Grif glanced at Sam and Simmons before giving a half-assed answer. "Um, is it because the war's over? And you're sending us home?" he asked, a little too hopefully.

"That's exactly it, private," Sarge answered, voice laced heavily with sarcasm. "War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, Reyes will give out party favors, and Simmons here, is in _charge of confetti!_ "

Grif sighed, "I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir."

"God dammit private!" Sarge yelled. "Shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!"

"Oh, I'd do it, too," the said soldier murmured.

Sarge nodded respectfully. "I know you would, Simmons. You're a good man."

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed, mentally urging Sarge to get to the point.

"Couple of things today, ladies," Sarge said, finally getting to the point. "Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One."

Everyone (except Sarge) groaned loudly. "Crap, we're getting a rookie," Grif mumbled.

"That's right dead man," Sarge confirmed. "Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez! Bring up the vehicle!" he called behind him.

Suddenly, a jeep drove over, the driver indeed being Lopez. He was a robot Sarge had built to take care of things like maintenance, or whatever else the privates were too lazy to actually do.

"Shotgun," Simmons immediately said.

"Shotgun-"

"Shotgun- _fuck_!" Sam muttered, a little too late.

"May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, mag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog," Sarge added humbly.

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Um, why 'Warthog,' sir?"

"Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son," Sarge answered, and Sam didn't even bother to correct her gender. It was like every time someone tried to correct him, he refused to believe there was a female working under his command.

"No, I think she meant...why _'Warthog?'_ It doesn't really look like a pig to me," Grif stated. "I think it looks more like a puma."

"What in Sam hell is a puma?" Sarge asked.

"Uh, you mean like the shoe company?" Simmons wondered.

"No, like a _puma_."

Sam rolled her eyes for a millionth time at these morons. "It's a big cat. Like a...like a lion," she explained.

"Yes - see? Thank you," Grif said, pointing at her.

"She's only defending you cause she likes you," Simmons mumbled.

"No I don't!"

"You two're making that up!" Sarge argued, still caught up with the whole 'puma' nonsense.

"No, sir! She really likes him!"

"Not that, you moron! That fake animal they keep saying!"

Grif groaned, "I'm telling you; it's a real animal!"

"Simmons," Sarge turned to the maroon soldier. "I want you to poison Grif's next meal. You can leave that Reyes alone; it's clear Grif has brainwashed him into believing whatever lies he spouts out."

"Oh. My. God. I don't like Grif!" Sam groaned, flailing her arms.

"Yes, sir!"

"Okay, you see these two tow hooks?" Sarge asked, pointing to the jeep that Lopez still sat in. "They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?"

"A walrus?" Sam and Grif answered at the same time.

"Didn't I just _tell_ you two to stop making up animals!"

* * *

"What is that thing?" Tucker asked, referring to the new car thing the reds just got.

Church shrugged, looking away from the sniper rifle. "I dunno, but it looks like uh...looks like they got some sorta car down there."

"Hm," Lily nodded. "Maybe we should get back to base and report it."

"A car?" Tucker demanded, "How come they get a car?!"

Lily frowned at him. "What are you complaining about, dude? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

He looked at her pointedly, "You can't pick up chicks in a tank."

"Oh you could bitch about anything, couldn't you?" Church snapped. "We're about to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks? What chicks are we gonna pick up man?!"

Lily cleared her throat.

"Uh, well, would you really-"

"No."

Tucker sighed, "What kind of car is it?"

Church mumbled something under his breath and looked back in his rifle. "I don't know, man. I've never seen a car like that before. It almost looks like a...big cat."

Lily scrunched her eyebrows together. "What...like a puma?"

"Yeah, there ya go."

* * *

"So, unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a new name for the vehicle," Sarge looked pointedly at Sam and Grif, "we're gonna stick with the 'Warthog.' How 'bout it, Grif?"

The orange soldier sighed, "No, sir. No more suggestions."

"And you, Reyes?"

"I'm...I'm good, sir," she mumbled.

"Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?"

"That's okay," Grif said.

"Unicorn?"

" _Really_ , sir. I'm good," Sam repeated.

"Sasquatch?"

"Leprechaun?" Simmons added.

"Hey man, he doesn't need help," Grif deadpanned.

"Phoenix!" Sarge exclaimed.

"Christ," Sam muttered under her breath.

"Hey, Simmons. What's the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats?" Sarge asked.

Simmons looked around nervously. "Um, uh, that would be the uh...hey, Reyes," he whispered to the girl next to him. "Help a man out here, you're Mexican, right?"

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yes. I am. And he means the Chupacabra," she answered emotionless.

"That would be the Chupacabra, sir!" Simmons replied, louder and more confidently this time.

"Hey Grif!" Sarge shouted. "Chupathingie! How 'bout that? I like it! Gotta nice ring to it!"

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! Guess who's back even though it's been like a day and a half! Like I said, I'm just really excited about this story and-well, yeah. Anyway, first chapter, and an introduction to my new oc, Sam, who we'll learn just a little bit about in the next chapter. I know I said I'd have like a submit your own oc thingie but I really couldn't wait and sort of came up with her on the spot. Also, the title is in reference to the theme song, Blood Gulch Blues so yES!**

 **I hope you enjoyed this simple chapter, and enjoy the rest to come!**

 **~Saammmm :-D**


	2. Chapter 2

_Your Fault_

All Samantha Reyes wanted to do was watch the next round of Grifball. The sport's season just started and she was inside Red Base, ready to plop down on the couch and stare intensely at the TV. She would have been completely enjoying herself, if it weren't for the two idiots she called teammates.

Overall, she blamed Grif. Sam had just turned on the television when the asshole flopped down on the couch, his entire body covering each cushion.

"Um, excuse me? Move," she glared at him, motioning for him to at least move his legs so she could sit on the couch.

Grif looked lazily up at her and sighed contently. "Nah, I'm good. Besides, this sport was named after me."

Sam scowled and put her hands on her hips, "No it wasn't."

"Uh, yeah it was. _Grif_ -ball? It's not 'Simmons'-ball, or 'Reyes'-ball, is it?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what?"

"But that doesn't mean we all can't watch it!" she snapped angrily at him.

Grif shrugged, "Meh."

"Ohh, you're _so_ lucky Sarge won't allow us to have any team kills-"

"What are you two shouting about?" Simmons grumbled as he walked out of the hallway. He was wearing his out-of-armor-outfit, which consisted of sweats and a t-shirt. His red hair was slightly ruffled, his blue eyes were narrowed and he had an extremely disgruntled look on his freckled face. Even his glasses were slightly askew, resting crookedly on his nose.

"I was _trying_ to go to sleep, but you're yelling woke me up," Simmons complained. "Lovers quarrel?"

"I _don't like him_!"

"Will you three can it?!" Sarge stormed out of his room, face contorted into an annoyed scowl. His hair was grey and thinning, and he had a scruffy beard, but his angry red face was enough to intimidate the privates. (Well, at least Simmons.)

"S-sorry, sir," the red-head mumbled. Sarge grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'durk-eh-durgg,' and returned to his room.

Sam growled and picked up a pillow, throwing it at Grif, who let out a strange yelp-like sound. "This is _your_ fault!" she hissed.

" _Me_?!" he whisper shouted at her, sitting straight up and tossing the pillow to the floor. His tan and slightly pudgy face had a frown on it, and his brown eyes seemed to be only half-glaring at her. Even when he was annoyed, he was still lazy.

Grif ran a hand through his slightly greasy dark hair and raised his middle finger at Sam.

She narrowed her equally brown eyes right back at him and muttered something in Spanish. They continued their mini staring contest for a while, the game of Grifball completely forgotten. Simmons rolled his eyes and walked back to his room, mumbled something about young love as his door shut quietly.

* * *

The members of Blue Base seemed to be getting along better than the members of Red Base.

As a matter of fact, Church and Lily got along _very_ well. When they first met, it turned out he knew her, though Lily had next to no idea who he was. She had admitted his name sounding familiar, but nothing else rang a bell.

He had explained to her how his girlfriend, Allison, who was better known as Tex, often spoke to him about a good friend named Lily Yang, who she also called Cali. They were in this program, called Project Freelancer, and had worked together very closely, along with several other agents.

Lily couldn't deny that she felt extremely guilty for not remembering any of this. The way Church had spoken so highly of Lily, saying Agent California was one of the best agents, made her become extremely suspicious. Even Tucker said the name sounded familiar!

How could all these people know her, but she not have any recollection whatsoever? It was as if someone _didn't_ want her to remember Project Freelancer.

Of course, when Church began telling her more and more, she began to recognize things. He'd mention a name like Omega or the Director, and it had rung a bell. Occasionally when she was sleeping, she'd dream of things, almost like glimpses of her past - her _true_ past. She recognized faces and voices, and remember events that had occurred. She also learned why the name Church sounded so familiar.

It was the same name the Director had. _What a coincidence_ , she had thought.

But there was one name she couldn't put her finger on.

David.

Church never spoke about a David, and he said Tex never mentioned one either. Lily figured he must've been someone close to her, if nobody else knew about him. She'd catch images of blonde hair, and different colored eyes. She felt a pang in her heart whenever she thought about him.

Anyway, after remembering some things about her past, Lily had allowed Church and Tucker to call her 'Cali.' She hated it at first, but Church was never able to get over the habit. She had eventually gotten used to it, and it gave her a sense of familiarity when she heard the name.

"Hey, Cal? Caaallliii. Agent California? Lily!"

"Huh, wh-what? Sorry," Lily mumbled, face turning red and she looked up at Church. He had been staring intently at her while she seemed to be in her own little world. His green eyes were extremely focused, and his entire face seemed to be covered in determination. Even his black hair was pointed slightly in her direction, which was very disturbing.

Church frowned at Lily. "You've been staring at the table for 10 minutes," he explained. "You were thinkin' about that David guy, weren't you?"

Before Lily could open her mouth, someone else spoke.

"Whoa, California thinking about a guy? Bow chica wow wow!"

Lily rolled her eyes and turned to Tucker, who had strolled arrogantly into the room. Tucker was...well, he certainly was a character. He was a tall dark man, with a well-toned body. He had quite a handsome face, which was usually occupied with a smirk. His dark hair was in long dreadlocks, which he usually kept up in a sort of messy bun.

Lily had to admit that she found him attractive, but his arrogant attitude and borderline sex-offender ways had steered her way off.

Tucker sat down next to her and stole a drink of her milk, which she was previously using to dunk her cookies in.

"Stop drinking my milk or I'll de-rank you."

"What?!" Tucker spluttered, nearly joking on the drink. "You can't do that! She can't do that, right?" he asked, turning to Church, who simply grinned and walked away.

Lily smirked and stole her cup back. "Yes, I can. I was promoted when Flowers died, remember? Now go get your own damn milk, _private_."

"Ugh, whatever you say, _Captain_ ," Tucker grumbled, but gave a small smile back.

* * *

"Hey, that's not exactly what happened," Simmons frowned.

"Uh, yes it is," Sam argued, placing a hand on her hip.

Grif snorted, "Yeah, you said 'I'm not going to the Vegas Quadrant!' And next thing I know, you're in an escape pod headed towards the Vegas Quadrant!"

Simmons groaned quietly. "How come you two are always teaming up against me?" he complained.

Sam shrugged and gave Grif a high-five, seeming to completely forget their argument from last night. They always did that, bicker like an old married couple for hours then act like nothing happened the next day. It drove Simmons insane and he wished they'd just fuck already so he didn't have to hear them argue anymore.

"Okay fine," Simmons said. "But what about that time Reyes said-"

"Um, excuse me, sirs?"

The three privates turned to see a soldier standing their awkwardly, wearing standard issue red armor. Grif, Sam, and Simmons quickly glanced at each other before looking back at the soldier.

"Sirs?" Simmons repeated.

"Ah, crap," Grif sighed, just remembering they were supposed to get a rookie.

The soldier gulped and looked around nervously. "I was told to report to Blood Gulch Outpost Number One and speak to whoever's in charge?"

"Sorry, kid," Sam spoke up. "Sarge is at Command getting orders. No one's in charge today."

"Uh, actually, private," Simmons interrupted, making his voice sound slightly deeper than usual, "he left me in charge while he's gone."

Grif rolled his eyes, "You are such a kiss-ass."

"Also, he told me if I had any trouble from you I should..." Simmons cleared his throat. "'Git in the Warthog, 'nd crush yer head like a tomato-can,'" he said, trying to imitate Sarge.

"That's the worst impression I've ever heard," Grif mumbled.

"Well, he also said that I needed to protect Reyes?" Simmons said again, but this time without the impression. "And that I should shoot you if you try to brainwash her some more. Well, actually, Sarge said 'brainwash _him_ ,' but I know that Reyes is a female. Un-unless you identify as a male, in which case is totally-"

"So rookie!" Sam interrupted, effectively stopping Simmons from embarrassing himself even further. "What's your story?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Rookies_

"Private Donut reporting for duty, Sir! I'm ready to fight some aliens!"

Sam nearly snorted at how ridiculously eager that sounded. But then again, that's how _she_ must have sounded when she first signed up. Now she was stuck in this boring canyon, forced to live her disappointing life.

 _Poor kid,_ she thought.

"Couple things here, rookie," Grif said. "First off, 'Private Donut?' I think _somebody_ needs a new nickname. Secondly, what's with the armor color?"

Sam had been wondering that herself. She knew it was standard issue red, but everyone got a unique color. Sam's was a light shade of purple, though the proper name for it was, 'Raspberry.' She hadn't told Grif or Simmons that, though. the last time she told a team member, they called her Raspberry for a full month straight.

She shot him in the foot.

"Tell him, Reyes."

Sam had been so caught up in armor colors, she realized she hadn't been paying attention to the conversation.

"What?" she asked, looking over at Simmons.

"Tell him my armor is maroon, not red."

Sam rolled her eyes and didn't say anything.

"Well...how do I get a different color armor?" the rookie asked, looking between the other three privates.

"I'll bet the blues don't have to deal with this crap," Sam muttered to herself.

* * *

Church and Tucker were currently staring at the giant tank they had just received, while also trying to ignore the constant jabbering of their new rookie.

Church tried his best to tune out his annoying, nasally voice, but it kept breaking through his mental barriers. He was so close to storming in their base and complaining to Cali, but he decided against it. She was taking her daily nap (which was totally unfair because apparently 'only captains get to take naps!'), and Church knew that if he woke her up, she would probably stab him in the face.

"Hey, kid," Tucker finally sapped. Church silently thanked him for shutting the rookie up.

"Yeah?"

"You're ruining the moment! Shut up!"

"Oh, yeah okay," the rookie said, slightly defeated. "You got it, man."

"You know what?" Church mused to himself. "I could blow up the whole goddamn world with this thing."

* * *

"Okay private Donut, here's the deal," Sam said, taking a step towards him.

"I just refuse to call him private Donut!" Grif interrupted, causing Sam to roll her eyes.

Simmons stepped up next to her and continued, "We've got a very important mission for you. Think you can handle it?"

"Absolutely!" Donut said excitedly.

Sam nodded. "Okay. We need you to head down to the store and...get us a quart of," she glanced around quickly, "e-elbow grease?"

"My God, you're terrible at lying," Simmons whispered.

"I panicked, okay?"

Grif stepped between them, catching onto what they were planning. "Uh, yeah! And also, we need more headlight fluid for the Puma!" he added.

"The what?" Donut asked, tilting his head slightly.

"He means the Warthog," Simmons explained.

"Y-you know where the uh, s-store is, right rookie?" Sam asked, avoiding looking at his visor, even though she knew he couldn't see her face.

"What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do!" Donut said nervously, apparently as bad at lying as Sam was. "N-no problem!"

He turned to his right and ran off.

"Other way!" Grif shouted.

"Of course, I knew that!" Donut laughed awkwardly. "I just got a little turned around, is all."

He began running the opposite way. Sam was finally able to let out a deep breath that she'd been holding.

"Dude, you can't lie for shit," Grif teased, though half serious. "We're gonna have to keep you quiet next time."

"I-I'm sorry!" she squeaked, thoroughly embarrassed. "I've never been able to lie! Usually I just yell random things and panic really hard."

Grif laughed, "You sound like Simmons when he talks to girls."

"Hey!" the maroon armored man protested. "I can speak to girls! I talk to Reyes all the time!"

"Yeah, but she doesn't count," Grif waved his hand. "I mean like an actual girl, one that you don't work with and doesn't wear armor all the time."

Sam frowned, "Wait, but Simmons _does_ get all panicky whenever we're alone."

"Sh-shut up, n-no I do-on't!" Simmons cried, voice cracking.

Grif and Sam chuckled and the three of them turned to Donut, who was still running around aimlessly.

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes there's no store?" Simmons asked, momentarily forgetting about his embarrassment.

Grif shrugged, "I'd say at least a week."

* * *

"You know what?" Tucker spoke. "Forget what I said before, we can totally pick up chicks in this thing. Captain included. Hell, she'd probably get more chicks than both of us combined."

Church rolled his eyes, "Oh man listen to you. What're we gonna do with all these chicks?"

"Church, women are like Voltron," Tucker shrugged and glanced at him. "The more you can hook up, the better it gets!"

"And what about Cali?"

"She doesn't count," Tucker waved his hand aimlessly. "I'm not talking about a woman who threatens to cut our balls off-"

"She actually only threatens you."

"-I'm talking about a _real_ woman," Tucker finished, nodding to himself.

"I wouldn't even be allowed to pick up chicks," Church said suddenly.

Tucker frowned and looked at him, "Well why not?"

"Well, I uh...I've actually got a girl back home," he said sheepishly, smiling slightly to himself.

"Oh yeah?" Tucker turned towards him, "Girlfriend or wife?"

"Oh, no man, she's _just_ my girlfriend," Church laughed. "We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out and...ah, you know how it works."

"Well are you gonna marry her when you get back?" Tucker questioned.

"I'm not gonna get married," the rookie said suddenly. "My dad always said, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'"

Church turned to the rookie and glared at him. "Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?"

Tucker snorted, "No man! I think he called her a slut!"

"I'll tell you what newbie," Church said, narrowing his eyes. "I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I've got a way more important job for you to do."

The rookie deflated, not lookin forward to where this was going. "Great."

"See," Church started, "we've got this...General."

"Uh, right! The...general...guy," Tucker mumbled awkwardly.

"Yeah, and he likes to, uh, to come by and make random inspections on the base."

"Wait, I thought our commanding officer was only a Captain?" the rookie questioned.

Church sighed irritably. "She _is_ only a Captain, but I'm not talking about our CO. I'm talking about the General of the whole blue army."

The rookie nodded, believing every word he said.

"Anyway," Church continued, "what I'm gonna have you do is go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention. Just in case he decides to come by."

"When is he coming by?"

"We never know," Tucker answered convincingly. "It could be today, could be a week from now."

The rookie stared at them. "You want me to stand at attention for a week."

"You know, you don't sound very grateful," Church accused. "This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag. I could have you go wake up the CO, instead. Tell her how you're disobeying orders on your first da-"

"So what's so important about the flag?" the rookie asked, not wanting to get into trouble on his first day.

"Because it's the _flag_ man," Church babbled, "You know, it's the flag, we-the fla- why don't you tell him about the flag, Tucker?"

"Well, it's..." Tucker stuttered, wracking his brain to make up excuses, "it's complicated. I-uh, it's blue, we're blue..."

"It's just important, okay? Trust us," Church sighed. "So when the General gets here, the first thing he's gonna want to inspect is the flag."

"Right."

Church nodded, "So just go in there, you know, _far away from us_ , and wait for him."

The rookie nodded and began walking towards the base. He walked a good two feet before turning back around.

"Uh, how will I know when I see him?"

"There's only three of us out here, man! The CO is inside asleep and she probably won't be out here for a while. He'll just be the one that doesn't look like us!" Tucker shouted back.

Church yelled at the rookie as well, "Now get in there, and don't come out!" he turned back to Tucker, "Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

"You mean he's dumber than _you_ are."

Church rolled his eyes and sighed, "Wow Tucker, that was a great come-back."

"Hey, uh, Mr. Church? Sir..."

"Oh my God, _what_?!" Church shouted. "I swear, Tucker, I'm gonna kill him."

"Sorry about calling your girl a slut," the rookie trailed off awkwardly.

"ROOKIE! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Church screamed and the rookie ran back inside the base.

"Oh my God," he whispered under his breath.

* * *

"Oh my God," Lily groaned, sitting up and rubbing her face. Who the hell was yelling?

" _...I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!"_

Lily groaned again as she heard Church screaming. At who or what, she didn't know, but she was quite pissed off.

She grumbled under her breath and stood up, stretching her limbs before heading to the bathroom. Once she was finished with her business, she put her armor back on and slapped her face a few times to wake herself up.

Making her way down the hall and into the kitchen, Lily heard a few voices coming from the middle of base. She ignored it, figuring Church and Tucker were bickering as usual. Lily grabbed an apple before walking out to greet the two privates.

What she got instead was a new guy with standard issue blue armor standing by himself.

"Oh, hello?" Lily greeted awkwardly.

The new guy jumped and turned quickly. Once he spotted Lily, he immediately stood at attention and raised a hand to his head in salute.

"C-captain! Hello! Um, I've just completed my job!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. "At ease, soldier. Uh, what's your name?"

"Michael!"

She rolled her eyes and sighed, "Not your first name, your-"

"O-oh! Right! Pr-private Michael J. Caboose, reporting for duty!"

Lily nodded her head slowly, "Riiiight. Well, private Caboose, welcome to blue base. I'm your CO, Captain Yang. You can just call me Cali, like the others do." Lily thought for a moment, before adding, "Hell, you can even call my Lily if you wanted to."

"Alright, Miss Lily! I just wanted to let you know that I completed my job!"

"Right, what job?"

"The one where I had to wait for the General," Caboose answered. "He stopped by and took the flag."

"Alright, good job the-wait. What color was he?"

"Red."

Lily breathed in deeply and let it all out before clenching her fists. "And, Church and Tucker told you to wait for this, 'General?'"

"Yes they did! And they were very rude about it, too."

Lily nodded stiffly and turned around before storming out of the base, Caboose trailing awkwardly behind her.

She spotted Church and Tucker outside of the base, talking nonsense as they stared at the new tank.

"Hey guys?" Caboose called before Lily could stop him. "Just wanted to let you know; the General stopped by and took the flag!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's great, bud!" Church yelled back. "What, what did he just say?"

"And also," Caboose continued, causing Lily to slap her forehead, "the Captain woke up and knows about it, too!"

"Oh fuck," Tucker mumbled.

"Oh fuck, indeed, boys."

* * *

 **A/N: And on that note! mini cliffhanger! Though I'm sure we all pretty much know what happens next.**

 **I wasn't really sure how to like include Lily in this part, so I just did what I do best.**

 **Improvise.**

 **Though, overall, I have to say I like this chapter. The Blood Gulch Chrinicles is definitely going to be a lot easier for me to write, so that most likely means a lot quicker updates.**

 **Thanks to those who faved/followed/and reviewed already! I love hearing feedback.**

 **~Saammmm**

 **(P.S. just because I now realized this, I did _not_ make the ofc on red team's name Sam bc of my name. It's not even actually my real name, I just use it on here. I chose Sam cause it kind of popped in my head and it's a really huge coincidence lmao)**


	4. Chapter 4

_The Package is in the Open_

"Church, how could you guys let this happen?!"

"Wh- _us_? The rookie was the one who just handed the man our flag!"

" _Then why did you assign that job to a_ rookie _?!_ "

"I don't know, _Captain_ , why were _you_ sleeping when you should have been guarding the base?"

"Now's not the time for ridiculous questions, Tucker! We have to get that damn flag back!"

Tucker groaned and kicked the ground like a little kid and looked towards the middle of the canyon. He spotted a moving red spot, and pointed eagerly at it. "Look! There he is!"

Church took out the sniper rifle and lifted it up. "Where? Oh, yeah," he murmured. "Oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs."

Tucker whistled. "He must be one smart son of a bitch."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Caboose said his armor was red, and it is. Which means he's their sergeant."

"Well that makes sense," Church said. "At least we know how he got past our defenses."

Caboose stepped up, "Uh, actually, he walked right in from where you guys were standing.."

Church and Tucker chose to ignore that comment as Lily clenched her hands into fists once more.

"Whatever, just take him out," she snapped.

"Roger that," Church responded. "Goodnight, Sarge."

Four shots rang out, all four missing the Sergeant as he began to run around aimlessly.

"Crap," Church muttered.

Tucker, Lily, and Caboose stayed quiet, staring at Church as he glanced back at them.

"What?"

"You're not very good with that thing, are you?" Lily questioned.

Suddenly, the red's sergeant began waving the flag back and forth, as if taunting them.

"Man, that is just embarrassing," Tucker sighed.

Lily growled in agreement and took a step closer to the teleporter. "I've had it. Caboose, you can stay here and...guard the base. Church, Tucker and I will go through the teleporter and cut him off at the pass."

"Okay!" Caboose nodded his head.

"Tucker, you first."

The aqua armored man took a step back an shook his head. "Uh, there is _no_ way I'm going through that thing."

"Tucker, we don't have time for this," Lily snapped. " _You_ let the Sarge sneak in, _you_ get to go through the teleporter to get the flag back."

"But it wasn't just me! Church was there, too!" Tucker argued.

Lily nodded, "I know. Which is why Church will be going in right after."

Said soldier waved his arms and stepped back. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. _I'm_ not goin' through that either!"

"Ugh, you guys!" Lily complained. "Why would they give us a teleporter that doesn't work?"

"I dunno, why would they give us a tank that nobody can drive?"

Lily frowned at Tucker. "What? You know what, never mind. We already tested the teleporter."

"We threw _rocks_ through it, remember?" Church said.

"Yes, and they came out the other side, didn't they?"

"Rocks aren't people, Cali. I hope you realize that."

"I do," she nodded and pushed him in. She turned to Church who quickly shook his head and began to protest, ("Don't you _dare_ -"), but didn't give him a chance as she shoved him in as well.

Caboose and Lily stared out into the canyon, where Church and Tucker were _supposed_ to arrive. However, they didn't, and after a few minutes, Caboose finally spoke.

"They...didn't come out the other side," he almost whispered.

Lily nodded, biting her lip. "Uh, yyeeeaaaahhhhh...I've uh, I've decided...I'm _not_ gonna use the teleporter..."

* * *

"I still have no idea what you're talking about. I don't hear _any_ shots," Simmons grumbled.

"I'm tellin' you, it was four shots! Like, _bam, bam, bam_!"

Sam frowned and quickly counted on her fingers. "That was only three 'bams.'"

Grif glanced at her before looking back through the sniper rifle he was holding. "...bam. Wait a second...we've got a blue guy on the move out here."

"Where's he headed?" Simmons asked, looking around. Sam narrowed her eyes once she spotted the blue, but quickly realized he wasn't blue at all.

"Uh, that's...that's Donut," she said.

"Yeah, and it looks like..." Grif zoomed in on the sniper rifle and let out an almost inaudible gasp. "Crap, Simmons, get the Warthog."

Sam chuckled, "You mean the Puma?"

* * *

"Freeze!" Lily yelled, pointing her gun at the red sergeant, to turned around and frowned at her.

"Why was that other guy shooting at me?" he asked stupidly, "He could have hit me, you dicks!"

"Can it! Don't try and play stupid with me, Sarge, we know who you are."

The red tilted his head curiously, "But I just got here two hours ago. I'm not a sergeant, I'm a private!"

Lily frowned and lowered her aim, tilting her own head slightly. "'Not the sergeant?'"

"That's what I just said!"

"But how...how did you manage to steal our flag?"

"Steal?" the red stood up straight, becoming completely appalled. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"OH SHIT!"

"-THROW ME IN THAT DAMN TELEPORTER!"

Lily and the red both screamed and jumped back, and one or two shots may have accidentally been fired. Standing before her were Church and...Tucker? It _was_ Tucker, she knew that much, but his armor was covered in a bunch of black stuff, while Church's wasn't.

"Holy shit!" the red exclaimed. "Who is this guy?"

"What in the ass? Tucker? Church? Why did you barely get-"

"How did you get up here ahead of us?" Church asked suddenly.

"And what's all that black shit on your armor?" the red added.

Tucker and Church turned to him and aimed at him, both yelling, "Freeze, Sarge!"

"Would you stop calling me that? I'm still just a private!"

"The sergeant is still just a private?" Tucker repeated, before gasping dramatically. "Oh. My. God." he turned to Church and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly. "The teleporter sent us back in time!"

He then turned to look at Lily and the red, who were both standing side by side feeling extremely confused.

"Okay look," Tucker spoke to Lily, "I know you don't know us, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Some time in _your future_ I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they get this new jeep, and I'm like 'There is _no way_ you can pick up chicks in a tank!'"

"Tucker? What the fuck are you babblin' about?" Church asked, just as confused as everyone else.

"I know all this sounds crazy," Tucker continued, "but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals a flag while we're distracted."

"Is this guy an airhead?" the red asked.

"Okay, red? Please be quiet," Lily snapped then turned to Tucker. "Tucker? Shut the fuck up. You haven't gone back in time, okay? This _is_ the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sergeant," Lily heard what she thought sounded like music, but tuned it out. "Turns out, he's just some rookie, who happens to have the same color armor as him. He got in _somehow_ ," she narrowed her eyes at him and Church, "just g... for God's sakes, WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!?"

Suddenly, a jeep jumped over a nearby hill, the upbeat sounding music emitting straight from it.

"Whoohoo!" one of the reds shouted.

"Fuck!" Lily yelled

"Holy shit."

"Son of a bitch, run!" Church panicked, waving his arms one way and taking off. "Jesus! Run!"

He ran off and Tucker followed him. Lily had no choice but to retreat as well as the orange one and the purple one jumped out and began firing at him. They ended up hiding behind a giant rock as one of the reds fired at them from the jeep.

"Ah! Git! The ah! Eeh!" was all Lily heard when Church tried to speak through the loud gunshots. She sighed and peeked out from behind the rock, only to almost get her face blown off by bullets.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself.

* * *

"What the hell is going on here?" Grif yelled at the rookie through the loud firing.

"You know what?" Donut shouted back, "I honestly have no idea what's going on here! I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely brainless!"

"How did you get their flag?" Sam asked, standing next to Grif. She had been waiting with Simmons as he fired, but the noise became a little too much for her ears.

Donut shrugged and waved the flag slightly. "I don't know, I just asked for it!"

Sam and Grif were silent. They turned to look at each other before looking back at Donut. "And that worked?"

"Was it not supposed to?"

Sam shrugged in response, "I dunno. We've just...we never even thought to _try_ that."

Grif shook his head, "Just take the flag back to base, we'll explain there."

"Not until someone tells me what the fuck is goi-"

"Not now, rookie!" Grif yelled. "Just take the flag and go to base!"

"Fine!"

Donut turned and ran off, in the same direction from which he came. Sam had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from either laughing at him, or yelling at him.

Grif groaned, "Back to _our_ base, dumbass!"

"Oh, oh I knew that!" Donut said, turning around and running the other way. "I just got a little turned around, that's all!"

Sam rolled her eyes and looked up over to where Simmons was standing on the Warthog, firing at the blues and yelling random words.

"...Come on, blue! Come on, get out here! I've got a whole barrel of _love_ to shoot you with!"

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out through her nose, wondering just what the hell was wrong with this army.

* * *

 **A/N: Aanddd I'll leave it there. I'm so glad you guys like this story already! I love the feedback I've been getting and it's wonderful that you all like Sam so much!**

 **Hey, just a quick question, if I were to make a harry potter story, how many of you would read it? I've been thinking about it, though it wouldn't be until after this story is finished, that way I can focus on one story at a time.**

 **But yeah, let me know what you guys think!**

 **~Saammmm :-D**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey I know, it's been a thousand years. I'm just really busy I guess. School is starting up again soon and I have a lot of summer homework to catch up on, haha. Um, also I've just been really tired n stuff I guess. I've been having relationship problems recently and I kinda feel blehh. But here's an update and hopefully I can get back on track soon!**

 **Edit: (Ha I obvi wrote this before the break up..) But Hey! So I decided I'd skip a few episodes, like maybe three, just until after Church dies and they're calling for reinforcements. I tried writing the other stuff, but it was actually kind of difficult for me to add Lily and Sam in, there wasn't a lot of stuff going on and idk it just seemed boring tbh. So yeah! Here we go!**

 **Edit two: I'm literally shitting myself, I had this about halfway done and I pressed something idek but it took me back to the previous page before I was able to save it anD IT ALL DELETED KMSSSS. So I have to rewrite it all AAHHH**

* * *

 _A Shadow of His Former Self_

"Come in Blue Command. This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?"

"Okay, that is the last of it, your armor is clean now," Caboose said as he wiped the last of the black shit from Tucker's armor. He and Lily had cleaned it off as he tried to make contact with Command. They decided that because Church had just been killed (by his own teammate, no less), they could use reinforcements. Lily wasn't quite sure if or when she had agreed to this, but went with it anyway.

"Did you get all the black stuff off?" Tucker asked, causing Lily to roll her eyes.

"No Tucker, we just smeared it around a little."

He opted to not respond, instead answering Command, who had finally answered him. "Hello! Command! We need help...I don't know what the technical military term is for it, but uh, we're pretty fucked up down here. We need men!" Lily rolled her eyes again. "No, no, no, naw, it- not like that. I mean, we've got Captain Yang for tha-"

"Tucker-"

"-We need more men to help us...Yeah, that got blown up too. Yeah, we know...sixteen days? That's almost two weeks!" Lily frowned and glanced at Tucker.

"Um, that's actually _more_ than-"

"I like the 'in an hour' one," Caboose said suddenly, causing Lily's frown to deepen.

"How did you-"

"Yeah, me too. Roger that Command, we prefer the quicker solution."

"IS IT IGNORE CALI DAY?!"

"Whoever it is, make sure he can fix a tank," Tucker spoke into the radio.

"What's a freelancer?" Caboose asked. Tucker didn't answer, instead he turned to Lily, who was glaring at him under her helmet.

" _Now_ you know I exist."

Tucker rolled his eyes, "Sorry, they're sending a freelancer in about an hour. They didn't say which one."

Lily let out a sigh and looked back at Caboose who was staring at her. "A freelancer is independent. They aren't red or blue. They're like guns for hire, who will fight for whoever has the most money."

"Like a mercenary?"

"Yeah," Tucker responded. "Or your mom when the rent's due."

"Tucker-"

"Yeah, no, that - that was good."

Lily shook her head before continuing, "...and more often than not, they'll have code names, like me, for example."

Caboose tilted his head.

"I'm...I _was_ Agent California, which is why Tucker and Church call me Cali."

"Oh. You're a freelancer?"

"I _was_ , yeah...though my memory was erased or something, because I don't...well, I don't _remember_ much. Hopefully the freelancer that is being sent here can help me-"

Suddenly, a figure started to appear in the corner of her eye, and she turned to stare at it, as it became more and more visible. It took the shape as a man, though it was completely white and see-through. Lily almost felt a sense of Deja-vu while looking at it.

"Tuuckkerrr..." the figure spoke in a quiet, eerie voice. "Caaalliiiii.."

Tucker spun around quickly and nearly jumped back. "Whoa! Who the hell are you?"

"I am the ghost of Chuuuuurch," it spoke, "and I have come with a waaarrnniiinnggg!"

"You're not Church," Caboose frowned. "Church is blue...you're white."

The "Ghost of Church" turned to him and sighed impatiently. "Rookie, shut up man, I'm a freakin' ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Yeah, that's definitely him.."

"Now I gotta start all over again." Church cleared his throat, and continued with his spooky voice. "Tuuckerr, Caaalliii...I've come back with a waarrnniinngg.."

"Is it really necessary to do the voice?" Tucker interrupted.

"Yeah," Lily said, "it's kind of annoying."

Ghost Church sighed again, "Alright fine. Okay, here's the deal. I've come back to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let-"

"Tex?" Lily questioned. "That's who they're sending?"

"Yeah, but don't-"

"What's the warning?"

Church stared at Caboose. "Shut up for one second and I'll tell you."

"Okay, sorry."

"I mean, it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with," Church continued. "But now I come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man..." He let out a long breath. "Okay. Here's the deal-"

"Is this the warning?" Caboose asked again.

"Alright, that's it, I swear to _God_ , Caboose, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you."

"Okay," Lily held her hands up. "Let's get back to the matter at hand, please. What about Tex?"

Church nodded. "Okay, Tucker, Cal, you two remember that I told you I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here to Blood Gulch, right?"

"No," Tucker shook his head.

"Sort of," Lily shrugged.

"I - well, okay...so I was-"

"Sidewinder...isn't that the ice planet?" Caboose wondered.

It took Church a moment to answer. "Yes."

"Cool! What was it like there?"

Another moment. "Cold."

"Cold? That's...that's it?"

Church inhaled sharply. "What do you want from me, a poem? It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's _really, fuckin', cold_."

"Would you just let him talk?" Tucker snapped.

No one said anything else, so Church gave another nod before continuing to speak. He went on this long story about how he and some guys were patrolling, and Tex showed up, and started killing everybody.

"Hang on," Lily held a hand up, cutting Church off. "How does...how does one beat someone up with their _own skull_? That doesn't seem physically possible!"

"That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming! Bottom line is: these freelancers, they're bad news, and Tex is one of the worst."

Lily pouted, "I'm... _not_ bad news, am I?

"Of course not. But the others, they're bad news." Tucker patted her shoulder.

Church the explained why he and his girlfriend never got married, and started to fade away. "I mean it, you guys. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it.."

He faded away.

"So," Tucker spoke. "Tex and Church were after the same girl."

"I told you his girlfriend was a slut."

Lily had never faced palmed so hard until that moment.

* * *

Sam wasn't entirely sure how she found herself in this situation. Sure, her and her fellow privates had attacked the blues, and did what they _thought_ was best. But when the tank showed up, everyone just sort of panicked and it went to shit, and now they all had to explain exactly what had happened to Sarge.

"And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock-"

"That wasn't your idea, it was mine."

"Reyes is still in shock, sir, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and, shit just started blowin' up. I don't know."

Sam rolled her eyes and turned away from Sarge, who's helmet was covering his facial features, but she had been working under him long enough to figure he was pissed.

He proved her right when he let out a long, deep sigh. "Grif, do you have any Godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?"

"Uh, well..." Grif turned to Sam. "Reyes, it's your turn." Sarge turned to face her expectantly, and she threw a glare towards the lazy, orange solider.

"Um, I don't know," she shrugged. "Maybe, uh, around ten? Or - or no, twenty, um -" she wasn't sure why, but something about the way Sarge's helmet faced directly at her made her extremely uncomfortable. "-it, uh, twenty-five? Yo-you know Sarge, heh, Grif - uh, Grif actually told me it costs twenty-five bucks."

Sarge finally looked away from her and back at Grif, who had taken a step back. "Sir, I know what you're going to say, and - she - you - he - it - you- you want to kill me right now, don't you?"

"I'll tell you what, Grif," Sarge said, "I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya."

Lopez walked over from where he was working on the jeep and stood in front of the two privates. Grif took another step back. "Uh, what about Reyes?"

"I'm gonna let Reyes go, Grif."

"Fuck yes," she whispered.

"And I'm going to let Reyes go, because I knew you've been feeding him false information, Grif. You son of a dirtbag."

"Sir-"

"Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.."

"Okay uh, I guess I better get going then.."

The first few shots rang out, and Grif ran off, screaming about how this wasn't funny, and Sam had to sit herself down because she was laughing so hard.

* * *

Lily wasn't entirely sure what to expect when Tex arrived. She knew Tex wasn't gonna be all like, "Oh Em Gee! California, waow!", but she also expected some sort of greeting. Maybe a "I heard you lost your memory," or at least a "hello"?

Instead, Tex nodded and introduced herself like she had to everyone else.

Now, Lily didn't want to confront her about it, because maybe the things Church had told her were incorrect, and obviously Tex was secretive, because she had kept her gender a secret using a voice modulator, and she seemed to really like it when Tucker kept calling her 'sir.'

But she just wished there was a time or place she could talk to Tex and ask her all the millions of questions that she had.

A pair of heterochromatic eyes flashed through her mind, and she heard the whisper of the name, 'David.'

Lily shook her head before climbing out and to the top of the base, where Tex, Tucker, and Caboose were. She was met with Tex firing at something, and Tucker standing next to her. Lily wasn't entirely sure what Tex was shooting at, but she had a pretty good hunch...

"That's basically it, sir," Tucker was saying. "They have six guys over there and a jeep."

"And your flag," Tex said, reloading.

"Right."

Tex threw a grenade toward wherever she was aiming before, and Lily frowned to see Caboose as the target. "Um, hey, Tex? Yeah, I don't know where you've been before, but um, we usually don't use our own teammates for target practice..." she said awkwardly.

Caboose muttered, "I'm scared."

Tex turned to Lily for a moment, causing the Captain to get shivers down her spine, before the agent turned away, messing with one of her guns. Caboose saw an opportunity and took it as he ran over to hide behind Lily.

"So," Tucker started again, "you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?"

Tex ignored him, still playing with the gun.

Tucker didn't seem affected by this. "Yeah, I used to have black armor too." Lily snorted.

"Yeah, for all of ten minutes. It was black because it got covered from all this-"

Tex suddenly ran away.

"-shit from the...oh, okay, you gotta go? We'll...we'll see you later."

Caboose leaned forward, "I don't think he likes you guys."

Lily rolled her eyes, and had a feeling Tucker did as well. "Thanks."

* * *

"So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because somebody didn't believe in it."

"Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges. He also asked me personally to make sure you stop brainwashing Reyes."

Sam and Grif rolled their eyes simultaneously, though for different reasons. Grif thought Simmons was being a bitch, and Sam thought both of them were idiots.

"Hey," Donut said, interrupting Grif who's mouth had just opened to speak again, "since I captured the flag, d'you think they'll give me my own color armor now?"

"What do you mean, 'captured?'" Simmons scoffed. "You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot."

Donut shrugged, "Still, you think there's a shot?"

Simmons shrugged as well. "Maybe they'll give you Reyes' armor, since she was the one that basically destroyed the Warthog."

"Heh, yeah," Sam laughed. "Heh - wait...you don't...you don't think they'd do that, do you?"

No one answered her, though something near Lopez and Sarge caught their attention, and they turned to inspect whatever may be happening down below.

"Simmons, what is going on?" Grif asked.

"I thought I saw something for a second," he answered, looking over the edge of the base. Sam peeked as well, and though she couldn't see anything, she was still cautious.

"Hey rookie, why don't you go tuck that flag somewhere safe until we can figure out what's going on," she said.

"Good idea," Donut nodded, before dropping the flag down the opening of the base. "I was getting tired of carrying that thing anyway."

Sam shook her head and smirked, before looking back out to where Grif and Simmons were still looking at. They seemed oddly suspicious of something, and she and Donut tried to figure out what they were seeing and hearing. Suddenly, something came flying towards the red base, and latched onto Donut's helmet, who seemed to have no idea what had just happened.

"What the fuck?"

"What?"

"What is _that_ thing?"

"What thing?"

"There's something on your head."

"What?" Donut cried. "Is it a spider? Get it off!"

"No, it's not a spider," Sam rolled her eyes. "It's like...a blue...thing."

"What, like a blue spider? Get it off!"

"It's not a spider!" Grif and Sam yelled at the same time. "It's some kinda fuzzy, pulsating thing."

"Well that doesn't sound much better than a spider!"

Sam sighed and took a tentative step toward Donut and the weird, blue, not-spider. "Do you think we should try and take it off?"

"Be my guest," Grif said, causing Sam to turn and glare at him.

"By 'we' I meant 'you two.'"

"Well, there's no way _I'm_ touchin' that thing. Simmons? Be my guest."

"She meant _only_ you, asshole."

"Look, can someone just please take it off?" Donut whined. Sam groaned and took another step towards him, and the last thing she heard was the sound of an explosion, and a loud cry of, "Son of a bitch!"

* * *

 **A/N: oKAY! U marvelous people! Thank u so much for waiting for so long and for all the support you have given me! You are right, the ex is a biiigggg jerkface lol. Anyway, this is a bit rushed and not edited, but I decided to put it up anyway bc what the heck. So I hope you enjoy and please review! HOPEFULLY THERE SHOULD BE A NEW CHAPTER SOON!**

 **Love you guys.**

 **~Saammmm :-D**


	6. Chapter 6

_Down, But Not Up_

"Man, he really is kicking their asses," Lily sighed, looking through the sniper rifle. She figured she'd keep Tex's gender a secret, there was no need to spill the beans anyway.

"I never get the fucking sniper rifle," Tucker grumbled.

"Yeah," Caboose said, agreeing with Lily rather than Tucker. "I'm really Tex is on our team and not theirs."

Tucker nodded, forgetting that he, again, wasn't able to use the sniper rifle. "Yeah, sure makes things a lot easier on us."

"Yeah, I think switching Church for Tex was a good trade," Caboose said.

"Um," Lily frowned, finally looking away from the sniper rifle, "we didn't... _trade_ them. You killed Church, remember?"

"Well, whatever the case," Tucker shrugged, "sure seems like killing your killing Church is starting to work out for us."

Lily raised an eyebrow, turning to face them completely. "You guys are assholes, like seriously? Caboose literally killed Church, not even like an hour ago, and you're saying it's okay?"

"Yeah, no, I get what you mean," Tucker agreed. "It does seem fucked up. But don't you agree? If Church hadn't died, then we wouldn't have Tex."

"Well, yeah, but...well, yeah...but..." Lily frowned. "You _do_ have a point, but it's still a little messed up."

Caboose sighed, "Yeah, yeah, you know? I was gonna say something, but uh, well, you know..."

It was silent for a moment.

"Did Tex get in the base?"

Lily raised the sniper rifle again, "Yeah."

It was silent again, until an unknown, freaky voice said, "Blue team, flag returned."

Tucker spun around and nearly screamed. "What the... Who said that?"

The clear, white figure reappeared once more, and Church stood in front of them. He cleared his throat, "That was me, sorry. I uh, I guess I had something stuck in my throat. Your flag is back, by the way."

"Hey, it's Church!" Caboose said.

"Uh yeah," Church raised an eyebrow, "it's me. Hey Caboose."

"Hey, Church, what are you up to?"

Church laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm not here to make small talk, okay Caboose? How'd you guys manage to get your flag back?"

It was Lily's turn to laugh, though she more chuckled awkwardly, "Wh-what? Oh, that flag? Ha, th-that old thing? C'mon Church, you haven't been gone _that_ long, we've always had that!"

"Lily, who do you think you're trying to fool?" Church glanced around quickly. "Hey wait a second...where's Tex?"

"Uh, who?" Lily laughed again, "I've never met a Tex, who is that, like, like tax? Taxes? Church, are you okay?"

"Dammit, Cali!" Church exclaimed. "Where. Is. Tex?"

"I'm not really sure," Tucker answered this time, elbowing Lily for being such a terrible liar, "he said he was gonna go to the store. Something about, uh, Elbow Grease."

"Oh, great. That is so _typical_! What was the one thing I told you guys the last time I appeared?"

"That Sidewinder is cold?" Caboose guessed.

Church nearly imploded, "Nuhhhh, what was the _other_ one thing I told you?"

Tucker rolled his eyes, "To not let him get involved."

"Right. And what did you do?"

Both Lily and Tucker sighed in defeat. Lily had to admit, she felt slightly awkward for being berated by someone with a rank lower than hers, but she figured she deserved it. "We let him get involved."

"And not just a little involved," Church scolded, as if questioning a child about how many cookies he's stolen, "how involved?"

"Very, very involved."

* * *

When Sam opened her eyes, she wasn't expecting anyone to be right in her face, let alone Grif. So who could blame her when her first response when she saw him was to reach forward and bunch him in the nose?

"Ow, fuck!" he cried, stumbling, as Sam slowly sat up.

"Ow, what the... My freaking head. Jesus."

Simmons popped up from somewhere, his helmet off as well. He was standing over Donut, who was still laying down. "He's hurt, Reyes. He'll make it, but we need to get him some help fast."

"Yeah, yeah, hold on," Sam sighed grumpily, slowly standing up. Grif glared at her, still holding his nose. "What happened here? W - first Donut's head exploded, then Simmons fainted, then next ting I know-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Simmons walked to her, "wait. I did not faint, something knocked me out. Besides, you knocked out before me, how would you even know?!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Simmons, this is you we're talking about."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?!"

"Really, Simmons?"

"Okay, whatever, just go find Sarge, we need to get Donut out of here."

"Yeah sure. Oh, and uh, I'm fine by the way," Grif pursed his lips at both of them. "Thanks for asking."

He let go of his nose and ran down the ramp.

"Whatever," Sam said as soon as he was out of earshot. "No one likes you anyway."

"Except for you."

"Bitch-"

"Guys! Get down here!"

Sam and Simmons stared at each other for a minute before walking down the ramp.

"Sarge," Simmons said as soon as they arrived, "we need to get Donut air-lifted outta here."

"Could you put that in a memo and entitle it, 'Shit I already know!' Get on the horn with Command! Rise 'n' shine, buttercup."

The black soldier stood up, his right shoulder sparking.

"Oh great," he (she?) said, "you broke my voice filter, you cock biting fucktards!"

"Holy shit," Sam whispered, amazed at finally seeing another girl in the canyon.

"Ah-ha!" Grif cried. "I knew it! Only a chick could give me a headache _this_ big!"

Sam turned to him, eyebrows arched, "Bitch-"

"What's the matter?" the black soldier asked, "You never seen a girl before? How long have you guys been out here?"

* * *

"Let me get this straight, you're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose and beat the hell out of the reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?"

"In a nutshell, yes," Church nodded. "That's an excellent summary."

Tucker turned to Lily. "And you _knew_?"

"Hey," she raised her arms innocently, "like I said, I was a freelancer as well."

"But I though you, like, forgot everything."

"My memory was-"

"Like, because of old age."

"..."

"Tucker."

"Yes?"

"Stop talking."

"Okay, guys," Church spoke up, effectively stopping the conversation. "Can we please-"

"I should have known," Caboose sighed, causing Church to groan through gritted teeth. "She didn't like me...girls never like me."

"Caboose," Tucker said, "I don't think anybody likes you."

"Hey, I like him," Lily defended.

"Yeah, Miss Lily likes me. and I like me."

Tucker rolled his eyes and changed the conversations. "I don't thing I've seen a girl that _mean_ before. Like, Cali can be bitchy sometimes, but that either means she's tired, or on her period."

"Thanks Tucker, but you do have a point. Plus, that chick on Red Team doesn't seem so bad."

"Chick?" Church asked. "There's a girl on the Red Team?"

"Uh, yeah dude," Tucker chuckled. "Where have you been?"

"Dead."

"Anyway," Tucker quickly added. "Are you sure Tex is a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?"

Church snorted, "I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm _definitely_ sure I would know if she was part shark."

"Wai - oh, wait, oh wait," Caboose said. "If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?"

"Uh," Church frowned, "because she's from _Texas._ "

"..."

"Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with."

Lily nodded. "That's right, her AI, right?"

Church nodded, but the others seemed to ignore them.

"Right," Tucker drawled. "You should blame God. First, he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!"

"Will you shut up with that?" Church yelled. "Anyway, Cali was right. Her and Tex were in some weird experimental program back during basic training where they were infused with A.I's. Cali, you got yours removed, right?"

"I must have."

"Yeah, well, Tex got a really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell."

"A.I?" Caboose asked, confused as usual. "What's the A stand for?"

"Artificial," Church and Lily said at the same time.

"..,What's the I-"

"Intelligence."

"Ooohhhhhhhh...what was the A again?"

"Artific-"

"Let's move on," Church said.

"So," Tucker started, "the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer. But underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?"

Lily snorted.

"Oh _hell_ no," Church responded. "She's always been a rotten bitch, it's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements."

Tucker nodded, "Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one. Good catch there buddy, she's a keeper."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Well, how are you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?"

"I think so," the rookie said. "That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you...a gay robot."

Lily and Tucker nearly burst out in laughter, instead keeping it in as best as they could and leaning on each other for support as Church frowned deeply. "Yeah...that's right...I'm a gay robot."

They couldn't hold it in after that.

* * *

"So, you're a girl, huh?" Grif asked as casually as he could muster.

The soldier didn't answer.

"Just ignore him," Simmons said. "That's what I do."

Grif snorted. "Not so tough now that we unloaded your weapon, are ya?"

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Hey punk," the black soldier said, "I don't need a weapon to kill you."

"Yeah, right," Grif snorted. "What're you gonna do, _punch me_?"

"Idiot," Sam mumbled. The woman leaned toward Grif quickly, and the orange soldier jumped back quickly, placing both hands over his nose.

"Aahh, not the face! Reyes already almost broke it!"

* * *

"Well don't worry," Church was saying, "because I have a great plan for how we're gonna rescue Tex."

Tucker groaned, "A plan? Oh man, I _hate_ plans. That means we're gonna have to do stuff. Can't we just have a strategy, or...mission statement?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Church, when we're done with this, remind me to make Tucker run laps around the canyon."

"Noted."

" _What?!_ "

" _Now_ , I just need you guys to run a distraction, while I spring Tex."

"Distraction?" Caboose asked. "Heh, that sounds a lot like 'decoy.'"

"How does-"

"The way I see it," Church interrupted, "the reds have absolutely no idea how many freelancers we have out here. So all I need for the three of you to run around in the middle of the canyon, wearing black armor. Cali, you really _were_ a freelancer, so you can lead and tell them what they need to do. I'll sneak in the back of the base while this is happening."

Lily nodded, as did Tucker. "Sounds good. But Church, where the hell are we gonna get two suits of black armor?"

Both Church and Lily turned to the teleporter, where Tucker had gotten his black from before.

"Oh, fuckberries."

* * *

 **A/N: Waow! Another update so quickly! Yas, anyway yeah enjoy!**

 **"Could you put that in a memo and entitle it 'shit I already know!'?" MY FAVORITE LINE OMF MEE**

 **okay, review plss!**

 **~Saammmm :-D**


	7. Chapter 7 (finally)

_Roomier Than it Looks_

"Are you okay, guys?"

"Yeah, we're fine. You ready Caboose?"

"Does it hurt?"

Lily winced, "Oh, um, no-no! Not at all."

"Okay."

Church turned to them, "Does it hurt?"

"Oh yeah," Tucker chuckled, "big time."

Caboose ran through the teleporter. "Owchie!" He turned to Lily and frowned, "You lied to me."

"Yeah," Lily rolled her eyes. "We don't have time for this right now. Let's go."

* * *

"There's no L in it, it's pronounced 'both.'"

Grif rolled his eyes, "That's what I'm saying! 'Bolth.'"

" _Both_."

"You sound like such an ass when you say it - Hey! Reyes! Come over here!"

The female soldier exhaled deeply through her nose and walked over to her fellow privates. "Yes, Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum?"

"He's Tweedle-Dum."

" _Okay_ ," Grif said forcefully, before turning back to Sam, "okay. Help us out here, how do you pronounce b-o-t-h?"

Sam quirked an eyebrow, "Both?"

"Ha! Suck it, Grif!"

Grif rolled his eyes once more, "Whatever, you're _bolth_ retarded."

"Grif!" Sarge suddenly called from where he was on top of the base. "Quit yer yammerin' and get your kicker up here! Need some help. Got more of them Special Ops fellas headed toward the base."

The orange armored soldier looked up at Sarge, glaring slightly from the sun shining onto his visor, "Uh...as in, 'more than one?' Maybe both of us should go up there. Hell, all three of us."

Simmons gave him a sharp glare, " _Both_."

"Seriously man, _like an ass_."

Sam counted to ten in her mind, she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand to be in this God forsaken place.

Sarge seemed to actually consider this. "Well, well. Another brilliant idea from the think-tank." The three privates couldn't decipher whether Sarge was joking or not. "Why don't you both come up. Leave the prisoner alone. We could just put her on the honor system, have her guard herself." He was.

"Seriously," Sam muttered, "You can accept the fact that our _prisoner_ is a female, and not your own soldier?"

"Yeah, good point, sir," Grif sighed.

"You're damn right it is!" Sarge yelled. "Now get your ass up here, we got just enough time for me to spray-paint the bulls eye on your back." Sarge seemed to realize what he just said, "Ah, by bulls eye I of course mean camouflage."

"Of course you do, sir," Sam shook her head.

Sarge nodded in satisfaction. "Now move it, cupcake."

* * *

Cali, Caboose, and Tucker all crouched slightly behind a rock as Tucker listened into the radio. The three of them were covered head to toe in black...stuff, courteous of the teleporter. Currently, their mission objective was to go in a save Tex, since she had gotten herself captured, which was all fine and dandy, but Cali really hoped to get some alone time with Tex. The agent was the only person that would be able to tell her about her past - at least, the part that Tex was in.

"Roger that," Tucker spoke into the radio, answering (ghost) Church.

"Oh! oh, oh, Tucker," Caboose spoke up excitedly, "Tucker, Tucker is that-is that Church?"

Cali sighed, "Caboose, please-"

"Tell him-"

"Caboose-"

"-that I-"

"-please-"

"-I said-"

"-Caboose, listen-"

"-for me to say hi?"

Tucker waved his hand angrily, "Whoa, wait, wait, hey. What? I missed that, Caboose and Cali were talking over me." He turned to the other two soldiers, "Shut up, man, I'm on the radio."

California frowned at his tone of voice, feeling her weird, caring, mom-friend feelings kick in. For as long as she could remember - which wasn't that long - Cali always had an instinct to defend her friends, even if someone was being only slightly rude to them.

"Hey Tucker, I don't really appreciate that tone of voice," she said, shielding Caboose as if he were a baby. "If you could please refrain from yelling at him-"

Tucker sighed loudly, _she always does shit like this_. "I'm not yelling, I was just telling him to let me finish talking to Church."

Cali pursed her lips, and Caboose looked over her shoulder hopefully. "Could you tell him I said hi now?"

"No, I'll tell him you said 'hi' _later_." Caboose curled back down, before peeking back up, "Could I maybe talk to him, then?"

Cali let a soft sigh, "Caboose-"

"No you can't talk to him," Tucker snapped. "How could you possibly talk to him on my headset?"

California turned back to glare at him, "Tone of voice," she repeated, to which Tucker let out another, long sigh.

"I'm sorry," he said emotionlessly, "Next time, I'll try to use my, 'Talking to a Fucking Man-Child' voice."

She glared at him for a moment longer before turning back to Caboose, who had shifted slightly so he was in plain sight of the reds. "Caboose, sweetie, come get behind the rock. They can still see you."

"They can't see me," Caboose defended, staring at the rock, " _I_ can't see _them_."

Cali opened her mouth to respond, but she was literally incapable of forming words.

Tucker rolled his eyes, "That's because you're facing the rock."

Caboose looked over and spotted the Red Base. "Oh. Right." He then scooted so he was actually hidden behind the rock.

"Real smooth, dipshit," Tucker snorted. For once, Cali had to agree.

* * *

"Yep," Sarge said, "they're definitely Special Ops. I ain't seen troop movements this coordinated since my days on Sidewind-" Sarge body suddenly gave a spasm as he made a weird sound like, "heegakergerk!"

Sam and Grif blinked awkwardly and glanced at each other, "Um, Sarge?"

"Sir," Sam asked, "are you okay?"

Sarge looked at her, "Uh, you are you talkin' to Red, me?"

Sam snorted, "No, I'm talking to Lopez."

Grif chuckled, "Heh, yeah, cause you know, _that's_ real interesting."

Lopez suddenly attempted to take a swing at Grif, who dodged it. "Hey, what did I tell you about that!"

"Oh, um, I-I'm fine," Sarge said uncharacteristically, "that's...I'm just so mad about these, uh, goddamn Blues out here." His voice changed oddly, "'tslike I'm so _goddamn mad_ , I could spit!" Sarge suddenly horks one up, and spits on his visor...in his helmet.

"...Um, sir?" Sam spoke hesitantly. "Did you just...spit...inside your own helmet?"

Sarge stayed silent for a moment. "Uh, yeah, Yeah, I guess I did."

Grif rose a hand. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Go ahead."

"That's really fucking gross," Grif said, causing Sam to nod in agreement.

* * *

"Psst, hey!" Caboose whispered loudly. "Hey Miss Lily!"

"Yes, Caboose? Also, I'm right here, and, we're far away from the base. You don't need to whisper."

"Right, sorry," Caboose cleared his throat, "anyway, I'm having a really good time...with you...and you too, Tucker."

Cali smiled, "That's great, Caboose."

"Yeah," Caboose nodded, "it's like we're _real_ soldiers!"

"Please go hide behind another rock."

Cali glared at Tucker before kicking his leg.

"Hey, what the hell!"

"Be _nice_ , asshat."

"Psh, whatever, it's not like you're my mom!" Tucker scoffed. "And besides, you can't deny that the ladies love a bad boy. Bow chicka bow wow."

"Ugh, you're literally a disease, Tucker."

"That's not what your mom told me."

"Have you even ever had an _actual_ girlfriend?"

"Of course I have! C'mon, this is Professor _Fuck_ you're speaking to."

"More like Professor Shut the _Fuck_ Up and Leave me the _Fuck_ Alone."

"Is this turning you on like it's turning me on?"

Cali made a repulsed face and instantly took a step back. "What the fuck? _No_ -"

"Hey Caboose, what are you doing?"

California turned to see Caboose looking through the sniper rifle he had...somehow gotten from the holster on her back.

"One of the reds has Tex," Caboose answered. "I'm going to shoot him, and kill him, and free Tex. Then Church will forgive me for killing _him_ , and we will be friends."

Cali frowned, while Tucker simply snorted, "Oh come on man, you don't actually believe any of that, do you?"

"Um, Caboose, I don't think-"

"Ohhh, we're gonna be _best_ friends," Caboose said, before pulling the trigger and shooting the red.

The body limply fell over but the...well, the _ghost_ remained.

"What the?" the all too familiar angry ghost yelled, "Where did my body go? Oh, you've got to be _kidding_ me!"

Cali clenched her hands, "Why does no one listen to their goddamn _Commanding Officer_ anymore?!"

"...Tucker did it."

* * *

Sam wasn't entirely sure on how she felt about Sarge's...death. On one hand, it was almost like a fucking miracle. On the other, she had oddly grown...close to him, as odd as it may seem to actually say that out loud.

It was true though, they had grown close. She almost saw him as the father figure she never got growing up. Despite all the nagging and yammering, and the fact that Sarge never even bothered to realize Sam was actually a woman, and he actually believed she and Grif had some sort of secret relationship (Grif, seriously? She's got _some_ standards). And also minus the fact that he never really bothered to listen to her in general, whenever she had an opinion on something, gave an idea, asked a question, and Sarge also never bothered to listen when she had a problem, and Sam was then forced to speak to _Donut_ _._

And let's not also forget that one time when he got so mad at her, he refused to speak to her, _just_ because she had forgotten to tell Simmons to tell Lopez to do the job that Grif was _supposed_ to do.

You know what? Let's just stop before we forget why Sam even tolerated Sarge in the first place.

The point is, Sarge was shot in the head _probably_ by some blue asshole, and Grif and Simmons were desperately trying to bring him back. Surprisingly though, Grif was doing most of the work. (No, not surprising because he's a lazy piece of shit, but surprising because Simmons is the brown-noser, not Grif.)

"Sarge!" Grif cried. "Don't you give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you!" He began to hit Sarge in the chest with the back of his gun. " You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!"

Sam sighed deeply, "I don't really think that's gonna work, man."

"She's right, it _isn't_ working," Simmons put in. "We have to try something else."

It was silent for a moment.

"Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth."

Sam almost snorted at the idea.

"What the fuck man?" Grif argued, seeming less worried about Sarge now. "Have Reyes do it!"

"Um, no?" she argued. "I'm not gonna give him CPR. Besides, he was shot in the goddamn _head_. How is _mouth to mouth_ going to work for a _head wou-_ "

"Just do it Grif!" Simmons yelled. "It might be the only shot we have!"

Grif glanced back down at Sarge and gave a, "fuck it," before taking his helmet off and placing his lips onto Sarge's.

Sam really wished she had a camera.

As Grif began to give Sarge CPR, Sam and Simmons (so many S names!) watched, both a little hopeful, amused, and slightly repulsed.

Suddenly, Grif backed up, as if something startled him. "He's breathing! We saved Sarge!"

"He's alive!" Simmons cheered.

"He's _alive_?!" Sam cried.

Sarge began coughing and moving around, before calming down and sitting up. He looked around slowly and cleared his throat. "There. What...what happened here?"

"Sir," Simmons started, moving to help him up, "you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir."

"I always believed in you, Simmons," Sarge said, patting his shoulder.

Simmons awkwardly shrugged. "Uh actually, it's Gr-"

"Reyes!" Simmons cried, moving over to the woman who had turned to him, slightly surprised, with a raised brow (her helmet had been long since removed).

"Um, yes?"

He gave her the same shoulder pat he gave Simmons, "I knew I could count on you!"

"I - well, actually, sir, it was Grif who did all the work."

Sarge then turned to Grif angrily and said, "Grif, why in hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense."

Grif simply sighed and gave Sam the most 'You've got to fucking kidding me' look. "You're welcome, sir."

"I mean it's all so damn inconsistent," Sarge continued, the three privates opting to ignore him and head back to the base. "What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera?"

* * *

 **A/N: Guess who's back? Back again, Sammie's back, tell a friend!**

 **No but seriously, I'm here yes hi hello I'm not dead. School has just started back up and skjsdg;kjadbfgk I'm so stressed and it's not even the end of the first quarter (destroy IB pls). I'm also in a play and like drumline so I'm super busy after school all the fuckign tIME.**

 **Anyway idk man I'm just like so tired and like stressed and tbh I've been eating nothing but hot Cheetos and water for like a week (not _actually_ , but pretty much)**

 **ANYWAY HERE'S ANOTHER CJAPTER! I'm just so idk I feel like this chapter is super boring, like I'm trying to idk make it unique-ish bc my OC's but most of it's actual dialogue from the show. (Ok tho Cali is the #1 mom friend (tm) and like lmao she's gonna be so protective over Caboose I have so many plans hhgggnnn.)**

 **Also, season one is kind of boring? Like of course I love it so much but after rewatching like seasons 11 and 12, and watching season 14, then going back to season 1 it's like wut. Like I've honestly thought about skipping to like season 4 or something, but I most likely won't.**

 **ALSO how would you feel maybe if I did a sort of AU like of this story? it'll have the same characters (so my OC's Cali and Sam) but instead, Wash will have like died during their PF days, and Cali sort of takes his spot in like season 6? I think (around there), and she'll just be Wash but more her (yaknow, feminine and empathetic and a total badass still but funny and kind of dumb) and also there will be like a sort of thing between her and Caboose bc I love him so much fuck.**

 **It wouldn't be until after this story is finished (so like 4ever lmao), or I guess it could be like soon if ya'll really wanted it, but yeah would you guys maybe like that?**

 **Idk lmao let me know! I'm also thinking of doing a separate thing for like season 14. Bc it doesn't follow the timeline, it would be a bunch of like one-shots sorta, like the episodes with the RvB pals (the fucking genderbent episode omfg I love it so much), and possibly random stories where Felix, Locus and Cali maybe have to work together, or anything really.**

 **Okay, so yes, that is that. Please let me know what you think, whether about my ideas or the chap in general, and review! I love you guy so much, like seriously ah!**

 **~Saaammmm :-D**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay lmao I've been trying to keep it consistent with like, what I call the ladies? Like ok for example, I've been referring to Sam as 'Sam,' even though all the other characters call her Reyes, and I guess before I was calling Cali 'Lily' and then last chapter I kinda goofed up and referred to her as Lily which I guess is sort of weird?**

 **Cause like I mean, when you refer to yourself you don't really use your last name or a nickname, I guess. I mean does that make sense?**

 **Anyway, I didn't mean to confuse anyone and I'll try my best to stick with referring to Cali as 'Lily' in the like narration part, while the rest of the soldiers will obviously call her Cali.**

 **Actually tho, I think I'm gonna try the first half this chapter in Lily's first person pov. I mean, I used to do it and idk it's just something else. After, tho, it reverts back to Third Person.**

 **Okay, onward!**

* * *

 _Lily_

With Tex back at the base, I was finally able to talk to her about...well, about everything. The only problem was, I wasn't entirely sure how to start the conversation. I had attempted to start off with a simple, "hey," but that conversation was either interrupted with Church showing up or Caboose and Tucker needing something from me.

Which...what was actually happening right now.

"So, Tex.."

"Yes?"

"Well, you, h-how are you? How-how've you been? How's the uh, the-the base life treatin' ya?"

Tex looked up and raised her eyebrow "...Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah, no, yeah I'm-"

"Cali, sup!"

I sighed deeply and turned to Tucker, who smiled innocently as he leaned against the counter.

"Yes, Tucker?"

He shrugged, reaching over to grab a banana (a _space_ banana). "Just wanted to know how you were doing."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I'm fine," and turned back to Tex...only to find she had left.

I groaned and shook my fists in the air. "Arrghh! Tucker!"

"Yes?"

"I just, you-" I turned back and glared at him, causing the dark man to stop peeling his banana. "Yes?" he asked again, quieter.

"Get out of my sight before I de-rank you!"

Tucker stood up and scrambled out of the kitchen so quickly he almost slipped on the tile. "She can't really do that, can she?!" he cried as he turned the corner to the bedrooms.

I groaned and sat, rubbing my temples. All I wanted to do was sit and speak to Tex about my past - the past that I couldn't _remember_. But no, _everyone else's goddamn life is way more important than that_.

* * *

"Tex!"

The black armored freelancer looked up from her coffee mug, glaring at me. It was rather early (I didn't even know what time it was, because I never wake up until everyone else is awake), and Tex seemed annoyed that I had bothered her during her morning privacy.

See, for the past week or so, it had been my goal to corner Tex and ask her about my past. She _should_ know a lot about me, cause I sort of remember her, _and_ Church said she has mentioned me before. I was hoping she could tell me everything I didn't remember and maybe figure out why the hell I didn't remember any of it. But it seemed every goddamn time I tried to speak with her, someone ruined it.

 _So,_ the only logical thing to do was to wake up at the ungodly hours of the morning and speak with her before anybody else woke up.

"Um, yes?" She frowned. "Why are you awake so early?"

I faked a smile, "What are you talking about? I _always_ wake up early!"

Tex raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and rested my hands across from her on top of the table. "Okay, you're right. But I need to talk to you and this is the only time I can without anyone interrupting."

"Ah," Tex nodded and took a drink of her coffee. "That's why you've been acting so weird."

I shrugged and wandered to the cabinet to grab my own mug for coffee. I tried to shake off the awkward feeling I had while pouring my coffee. I wasn't going to like - Tex kind of intimidated me. She just had this look like: _I can and_ will _murder you in 3 seconds._

Shaking away the ridiculous nerves, I poured tons of cream and sugar into my cup and sat down across from Tex. She stared at me, her eyes drilling holes into my face. I slowly sipped my coffee, looking everywhere but at the beautiful blonde across from me.

"So...are you going to talk?"

"Oh, right!" I chuckled awkwardly and placed my hands on the tabletop. Why was I so afraid to speak with her? "Um, so, Church - you know Church, right?"

Tex set her mug down and furrowed her eyebrows. "Yes. I know Church."

"Right. Well, he told me about you, sort of. Um - okay. I'm Agent California."

"Correct."

"And you knew me. Fro-from before."

"Also correct."

"Okay," I nodded, letting out a deep breath. "See, I don't really remember a lot about the freelancer days - um, in fact, hardly anything at all. And I was hoping you could tell me, maybe?"

Tex stared at me for a moment. "Cali, you okay? I see you around Church and the others. You act like a leader, and you are...a leader." I felt myself swell with pride. "But right now, you're acting worse than Church does when I'm mad at him." I felt the pride deflate. "I'm not mad - you have nothing to be nervous about."

"You're right," I laughed at myself and shook my head. "I don't know what's gotten into me, honestly. I guess I'm just afraid of what I might hear."

Tex nodded and finished her coffee before setting the mug back down and looking right into my eyes. "You shouldn't be afraid, Cal. You're a great soldier, and you were a great soldier back then. You were one of the best, if not _the_ best, out of all of us. You were hardworking, smart, a quick thinker, and most importantly you were a leader. You cared about your teammates, your soldiers, all of us. I wish you could remember."

I smiled softly and looked down at my hands. Sometimes, I really feel like a terrible captain. I just bark at Tucker and Church, and take care of Caboose like he was my son. I'll admit that I was rather lazy and sometimes I felt like shooting myself because of how frustrated I got with my soldiers. But to know that I was a good leader, and an amazing soldier? I felt like I was on Cloud 9.

"And, the Director? Can you tell me about...him?"

Tex looked away, towards the sink in the kitchen. I understood that this was probably difficult for her, and I didn't want to force her to talk about it, but I really needed to know about my past. "He was just the Director, there's not much I can say about him. He was mean, tough, but tried to do what was best. It turned out that he was breaking laws and doing bad things. People found out, people went against him, and now he's missing."

I nodded slowly, not sure how to respond to that. "And the other freelancers? I mean - there were more, right?"

"Yeah, there were more." Tex reached over and poured herself more coffee. I watched as she drank it like that and stopped myself from making a face. Straight, black coffee was gross. "There were a _lot_ more."

"Oh," I said. "Um, what happened to them?"

Tex glared at the table. "A lot of things that they didn't deserve. The ones I think you were closest with were Agents Washington, York, North, and...Carolina."

I felt my heart skip. "W-Washington? Carolina? I-I recognize those names. Can you tell me more?" I asked eagerly, leaning slightly forward. "Do you know who David is?"

Tex looked up at me. "David? Yeah, rings a bell. You only ever mentioned him once or twice, though, I guess I never realized who you were actually talking about."

I couldn't hide my disappointment. "Oh."

"Sorry, kid."

"No, it's okay," I faked a smile. "It's just a name that really sticks out, above the others. I think maybe he was close, like a brother, or maybe a boyfriend."

Tex shook her head, "Well, he wasn't a brother. You didn't have one - or a sister. But you _did_ have a boyfriend."

I perked up, tilting my head. "I did?"

"Yeah," Tex smirked behind her mug. "Dating wasn't allowed on the ship we stayed on, but you guys didn't care. You loved him a lot."

I gave a small smile. "Do you...do you think that's who David was?"

Tex glanced at me for a moment. "I...I couldn't be sure. I never knew his real name, or anyone else's really. We all had codenames and stuck with those like they were given to us at birth. I only knew yours."

I nodded slowly and looked down into my coffee mug, staring at the light brown liquid, and something suddenly came to me.

"He hated black coffee."

Tex looked back up. "What?"

"David. He hated black coffee. He always had to add three sugars and two creams before even taking a sip."

Tex's gaze softened. "You used to."

"I'm sorry?"

"Black coffee," Tex said, nodding down at her cup. "You would drink black coffee. You liked it, and none of your other friends really understood why."

 _Friends._

I let out a snort and raised an eyebrow at her. "That's funny. I _hate_ black coffee."

Tex snorted back and shrugged. "I guess things change when you don't really remember who you are."

"I guess they do."

We remained silent for a moment before I finally plucked up the courage to ask what I had always wanted to ask. "Speaking of...do you know exactly _how_ I lost my memory?"

"You want the truth?"

"Please."

"It was taken from you," she looked me in the eyes, brows furrowed and a determined look on her face. Tex meant business, she was being honest, and I knew I could trust her. "The Director was doing things he shouldn't have been, and tried to cover it up. You were one of the most important assets in the program and could have done a _lot_ of damage if you had gotten out. So, he erased your memory of the entire program."

I clenched my hands into fists and let out a sharp breath. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt. Angry, for starters. What kind of person would want to erase someone else's memory, just for their own sake?

"Would you like to know anything else?"

I blinked and breathed out again, slowly relaxing my hands. There was no use getting angry right now, I'd just have to find this _Director_ at a later date. "Yeah, actually, did I have an A.I?"

Tex popped her fingers and shifted in her chair, though not in a nervous way. "You did. I'm not entirely sure which one, but it was powerful."

I nodded and smiled at her before grabbing my mug and downing the coffee. Tex looked at me confusedly, but I just stood and placed my mug in the sink and walked towards the hallway.

"Thank you," I said, looking at the blonde woman who still sat at the table. "I hope it's okay if I come and ask you more questions at a later date."

Tex nodded and smiled softly after a moment. I nodded back and turned down the hallway, ignoring the light sting behind my eyes.

* * *

 _Third Person_

After the conversation with Tex, Lily began to slowly pick things up from Project Freelancer, and even before then. Glimpses of her parents, of people (friends?), and past boyfriends, ( _'H_ _onestly, I must have been_ desperate' _)._

She wasn't sure why this was all coming back now, but she assumed it was because Tex had told her some things, and other stuff just started to fit back into place. Random, daily chores kind of helped, too. She'd do the dishes and be suddenly hit with the feeling of deja-vu. Then, the more she would think about it, the quicker that particular memory would come back.

She had rediscovered that her friend Carolina liked organization and authority - she also had red hair and green eyes (kind of like Church's). York liked to tell jokes, but he could be serious when need be. North and South were twins, but almost polar opposites. She felt like she was being introduced to them all over again, and the more she remembered them, the sadder she felt.

While slowly ( _really_ slowly), regaining her memory, Lily distracted herself with Tucker and Caboose. Tex and Church were mostly busy arguing with each other, so Lily was never really able to get the freelancer by herself again. Tucker had stopped mindlessly flirting with his captain - only adding a sexual innuendo occasionally - and she felt relived by that. Caboose...well, Caboose was Caboose, and that was all she could really say about that.

"Hey, Cali?"

Lily turned from the clothes she was folding. (They weren't even her clothes, but they had learned _fast_ that Caboose should _never_ be allowed to do his own laundry.)

"Yeah?"

"Can you...come out here?" Tucker scratched the back of his neck. "Tex and Church are bickering again and I'm not sure how much more Caboose can take before he bursts into tears again."

Lily rolled her eyes and set the t-shirt down, following the man out of the base. It was technically their day off. Really, everyday was, in a way. They pretty much just lounged around doing nothing while still wearing armor and carrying around loaded weapons.

"As far as I'm concerned," Tex was saying, "I'm square with you."

Tucker, Caboose, and Lily looked from her to Ghost Church, eagerly awaiting his response.

"I saved you from a life of imprisonment," Church snapped. "How the hell are you square with _me_?"

They all simultaneously looked back to Tex.

"Because _I_ didn't kill _you_ back at Sidewinder."

They all turned back to Church. Hey, Lily knew she was technically supposed to be stopping them from arguing, but this was rather entertaining.

"You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor."

"Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now," Tex offered. Before we could even turn to Church, he yelled back.

"No you can't, I'm already dead, bitch! I guess the joke's on you!"

Tex opened her mouth to argue back, but Caboose beat her to it. "Stop it! Stop fighting! Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? What about us?!"

"What _about_ you?" Tex snorted.

"We helped you too," Caboose argued snootily. "And what do we get? Nothing!"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Yeah, but _nothin'_ ," Church interrupted. "He's got a point."

Tex crossed her arms defensively. "I _did_ help them get the flag back."

"Yeah, but you were paid to do that," Tucker pointed out. "We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the red army prison, it wouldn't have made any difference to us."

Tex turned to Lily accusingly and she shrugged. "They sort of have a point." Tex glared. "Of course, I would have saved you either way!" Lily quickly added.

"Fine," Tex rolled her eyes and uncrossed her arms. "I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. As soon as I have, I'm outta here. What do you need me to do?"

"I...have no idea," Tucker admitted, looking to me for help. The Captain rolled my eyes.

"Um...you could fix our tank?" Lily offered.

Tex shrugged. "Okay."

Caboose gasped. "Wait, you know how to fix Sheila? ...I love you."

Tex looked at Lily, and the woman just shrugged.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, I don't really have a good enough excuse for this. I mean, I accidentally downloaded a virus onto my laptop? (I know I'm _so embarrassed actually_ ) And so like I had to go get it fixed and yeah, my laptop was down for a while and also school is stressing me out sm man. But the only thing I can do to like get my mind of things is to write, draw, or sleep, and lately, I've been doing a lot of sleep.**

 **Remember that boyfriend I had that broke up with me? Yeah, well, I've been really, really sad since then, and I'm probably gonna go back to therapy (bc I used to go for anxiety) and just yeah hopefully talk and feel better guys idk.**

 **So yeah, I'm just like so very sorry that I've been idk absent, for so long. Again, I really don't think I have a good enough excuse other than yes, I have a life and school and stress and other lame teenage problems (but I probably should have thought of that before I dedicated myself to a story that a ton of people enjoy)**

 **I know ya'll hate it when authors never update, or stop updating in general (I know I do, I read this amazing pjo story and it was so wonderful and had sequels and ah, and then the author stopped updating without a trace and it's been like 3 years and I'm so ( _I'm getting off topic I'm sorry-_ )), but I'm becoming that author :-(**

 **I will not abandon, I promise you that. I'm going to do my absolute best to start updating whenever I can (winter break is coming up, whoop whoop!). But I will not promise an update soon, bc honestly I just don't know if I'll find the time or motivation to do so. I haven't lost inspiration for this story, I just am having a lot of emotional problems and can't find it in myself to get up, grab my computer, and start typing.**

 **Anyway, I'm so sorry you guys I really really reaaallllyyyy am :-( Please enjoy this shitty, terrible, chapter about Tex n Cali talking and I'm p sure I skipped an episode but idec I threw this together to give you guys some sort of content after like 400000 years.**

 **Thank you all so much for still being here, I really love and appreciate you all so so so so sooo ridiculously so freakin' stankin' much.**

 **~Saammmm :-)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I know this episode and the last episode are like switched and I don't really remember why I did that but here we go. Honestly, I kinda don't see it as a story with a plot anymore, I just see it as a bunch of different One-Shots that all happen to be in chronological order.**

* * *

 _A Slightly Crueler Cruller_

"Dude, this is sweet! Command was so happy that I got the blue flag, they gave me my own color armor!" Donut cried happily.

Grif and Simmons looked at each other, Reyes could care less.

"Uh," Grif started, "hey Donut?"

The man tilted his head, like a puppy. "What?"

"Um, about your armor..." Simmons said.

"What about it?" Donut asked, very confused. _What was wrong with his armor?_

"How do I put this? Your armor is, um...it's a little, um," Simmons turned to the other two soldiers. "Grif, Reyes, uh, either of you wanna help me out here?"

Reyes rolled her eyes, "They're trying to say that your armor is pink, Donut. Which, by the way, there is nothing wrong with-"

"It's fucking pink!" Grif cried.

Simmons nodded, "Yeah, that's it. Pink."

"Pink?" Donut scoffed, "my armor's not pink!"

Reyes groaned at her teammates. _Why? Just why?_

" _Pink._ "

"Yeah, definitely pink."

Donut shook his head. "You guys are colorblind. Why would they give me pink armor?"

"Who the fuck cares what color it is?" Reyes cried. "Yes, it's pink, but that shouldn't even matter-"

"Look at it," Donut said, running to Reyes, begging her to agree with him. "It's like, uh, lightish red."

Grif snorted. "Guess what? They already have a color for _lightish red_. You know what it's called? _Pink_."

Donut crossed his arms, "I hate you guys."

Sarge came up the ramp where the soldiers had been standing. Lopez the robot was right behind him.

"Well hello, _dirtbags_ ," Sarge 'greeted' them. He turned to Donut. "And a fine hello to you, madame."

"It's light red!"

Sarge chuckled. "Don't get your panties in a wad there, Barbie. Do you have a package for me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Excellent."

Donut held up a mechanical unit. "They said this speech unit should work with Lopez."

Grif made a face (though no one could see it because his helmet was on). "Speech unit?"

Donut ignored him and handed Sarge the unit. "Affirmative," Sarge said instead. "Command was fresh out of speech modules when I first started building Lopez, but once I get this baby installed, I'll finally have someone intelligent to talk to. No offense, Simmons." Reyes frowned.

"Oh, none taken, sir," Simmons nodded. "I know who you meant."

Grif held his hands out, "Wait, wait a minute. Lopez is a _robot_?"

Reyes snorted, and Simmons rolled his eyes. "Of course he is. You didn't notice that he never talks?"

"I just thought he was a really quiet guy."

Reyes turned to him. "And the fact that he sleeps standing up and drinks motor oil didn't get your attention?"

Grif shrugged. "Okay, I did think the motor oil thing was a little weird, but I just thought he was trying to impress me."

"Right," Reyes snorted again, "like anyone would ever want to impress you."

"Hey," Grif crossed his arms, "I'll have you know that a lot of people like me."

"Like who? Your mom? Your sister?"

"..Yes!"

"And the other circus folks?"

"Oh you just have to use that against me every time, don't you? Just because I told you doesn't mean you get to-"

"Bring it up every time you and I get in an argument and automatically win because nothing is more embarrassing than-"

"Yow!"

Grif and Reyes snapped out of their argument and turned to Sarge, who had just gotten electrocuted from putting the speaking unit in Lopez.

"Sir," Simmons said carefully, "I won't tell you 'I told you so,' sir."

"Good," Sarge nodded. "I'd hate to make Strawberry Shortcake or She-Ra over there my new favorite private."

Reyes frowned, and it was Grif's turn to snort. "She-Ra?"

"It's not pink, it's lightish red!"

* * *

"So what happened to me anyway?" Donut asked. "I recall something about a spider on my head?"

Grif nodded. "Yeah, except it was a grenade, not a spider."

"And then the last thing I remember is a loud bang...and then Simmons fainting."

"Ha!" Reyes pointed her finger at the maroon soldier. "I fucking told you!"

"I did not faint," he argued. "And you wouldn't even know, you fainted before I did!"

"Done and done," Sarge interrupted them. "Lopez. Activate speech unit!"

" _Buenos días. Y la gracias da por activar mi función del discurso. Soy el número de modelo cero uno cero uno uno tres cuatro..."_

"...Am I the only one not understanding any of this?" Grif asked hesitantly as Lopez rambled on in Spanish No one answered. Simmons, Donut, and Sarge, because they _didn't_ understand, and Reyes, because she was laughing her ass off.

" _Me llamo es Lopez_."

Grif gasped dramatically. "Lopez, he just said Lopez! I understood that! I can speak Spanish!"

"You can't speak Spanish, you fucktard," Reyes wiped her eyes. "That was his name."

"Lopez," Sarge said, "speak English."

" _Mi procesador Inglés tiene malfunctioned. Sé habla solamente español_."

Reyes calmed down enough to speak properly. "His English processor malfunctioned, so he can only talk in Spanish."

Grif turned to her accusingly. "You speak Spanish?"

" _Si, idiota_. Where have you been?"

"Lopez," Sarge said again. "I order you so speak a language we understand."

" _Negativo_."

"Well this is just dandy," Sarge said ironically. "Lopez. How. Do. We. Fix. Your. Speech. U-nit."

"Why are you talking so slow?" Grif asked, eyebrow raised. "He can understand _us_ just fine. Maybe you should try listening slower."

"Lopez, would you like to shoot Grif?"

Lopez raised his gun and aimed it toward Grif. " _Sí señor. Gracias_."

Grif panicked, "No, stop! Uh, _alto, alto_!"

Reyes rolled her eyes, but was smiling at the humor of it all. " _Alto_ means tall, you dumbass."

"No it doesn't! Why do they put it on stop signs?!"

* * *

 **A/N: It's short, it sucks, but it's something I guess. Sorry if the Spanish translations aren't correct, the dialogue from the show is mostly from the Red vs blue transcripts website thing, which is where I got Lopez' dialogue too. I'm not fluent in Spanish, I only take it in Spanish. Yo tengo papel en my mochila. That kinda stuff.**

 **I'm going to start writing the next chapter next, which is mostly blue team. I'll try to get it out tonight, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to. So sorry. I love you all so much. I don't deserve all you readers and followers and stuff. Thank you, so much.**

 **~Saaammmm**


	10. Chapter 10

_SPF 0 - Blue Base_

"I am not happy about this."

They stood on the cliff where Church's dead body _still_ lay. Yeah, yeah, it sounds bad, but hey, what are you gonna do?

"I have an idea," Caboose said suddenly.

No one answered the standard blue soldier.

" _I have an idea!_ " Caboose said again, this time yelling.

"Yeah, we heard you the first time, Caboose," Tucker sighed, rolling his eyes. "We were just ignoring you."

Caboose took no offence, and told them his plan anyway. He told Church that he should take control of his own body, like he had possessed Sarge's body (before Caboose shot him again).

Church rolled his eyes, "Oh, I see. So that way I would be living inside my own dead body."

Caboose thought for a moment. "Yes."

"Unable to move, just laying there, rotting in the sun for all eternity."

"Yes!"

"Okay, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that."

Caboose squinted his eyes. "You are a mean ghost."

"Dude," Lily said, startling Church and Tucker - they had forgotten she was standing there. The captain made a face. "You really stink."

Church scoffed, "What?"

"Your body?" She pointed down. "It stinks."

"Yeah, well, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body," Church told them angrily. He pointed his finger at each of them accusingly, as if scolding his children.

Tucker gave a loud sigh and rolled his eyes. "Oh, quit your bitching; nothing's gonna happen to it."

" _It's freaking indignity!_ " Church cried. "My body fought hard for this army, and it deserves to be laid to rest."

Lily rolled her eyes, _had Church been this dramatic when he was alive?_

"Get over it," Lily shrugged. "You're already dead. And it's not like you're trapped here; like you'll suddenly be let up to heaven because we buried you. I mean, like, if you're even _going_ to heaven."

"Yeah," Tucker agreed, "what's the worst that could happen now?"

"Hey," Caboose said, effectively getting their attention. The man-child was looking up in the sky, so the others directed their attention up there as well. "Birds! Look, Church, birds! Why are they flying around in circles like that?"

* * *

"I spy...something that starts with..."

"Dirt."

"Dammit! How'd you know-"

"Well, because you already said rock last time. That's all their is in this canyon - rocks and dirt."

"Yeah, this canyon sucks."

* * *

 _And now we bring you back to your regularly scheduled programming._

The blues had left Church's body (meaning they both left the cliff where Church's body was, _and_ just left it lying there), and made their way back to the base. The four of them, meaning Ghost Church, Tucker, Lily, and Caboose, were standing at the top, overlooking the canyon. Their main point of focus at the moment was Tex, who was still fixing the tank.

For whatever reason, Caboose was holing Lily's sniper rifle. She wasn't too sure how she felt about that.

"How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?" Church asked his captain, though she didn't answer. Lily was too busy trying to figure out what the hell his sentence meant. What? He worded it weird!

Tucker answered instead. "Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, and then she'll get it moving again."

Church groaned, "Oh that's just fan _tas_ tic!"

"Why would that upset you?"

"Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it against the reds, and they're all gonna die." Church explained.

Lily raised an eyebrow, finally getting back in the conversation. "And isn't that a _good_ thing? We kind of want the reds to die, right? I wanna go home."

Church turned to her accusingly. "No, Cali, it's _not_ a good thing. As soon as we beat the reds, Tex is outta here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head."

"A.I..." Caboose muttered confusedly, like when you've heard the word before, you just can't remember what the hell it means.

"Shut up, Caboose," Church said quickly. "And if I don't get it out before she leaves..."

"You won't ever find her again," Lily concluded. Church nodded, and she felt proud of herself.

Tucker tilted his head slightly. Their helmets were off - except Church, who didn't really wear armor anymore. His body was just kind of see-through and clear, so none of them were even really sure if he was wearing clothes or not - and Tucker had to squint slightly because of the sun on his face. Lily noted that his cheek bones where high, and his face had an almost feminine physique to it, though she would keep that to herself.

"So what're you gonna do?"

"I guess I'm gonna do the only thing that I _can_ do," Church answered honestly. "I have to warn the reds before she fixes the tank."

Tucker lowered his eyebrows and pursed his lips. "So you're switching sides?"

Church shrugged. "Sorry, guys. Don't have much of a choice." Lily rolled her eyes.

Caboose glanced around almost nervously, before his blue eyes landed on Church. "Uh, wha-what happens when the reds out here, to stop Tex, and then they come also with guns and they find us?"

"I'll try to help you as best I can," he said, before beginning to fade away. "Good luck guys." And he was gone.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Caboose was the first to speak up, looking through the sniper rifle. "Does this mean I should try to kill Church now?"

Lily gave a sigh and closed her eyes, "Please, do not do that."

"Tell you what," Tucker glanced at the other private. "Kill me. I promise not to come back."

"Hey," Caboose said, not paying any attention to what Tucker just said. "Look at this!"

"No."

"What is it, Caboose?"

"They have...a girl," he answered. "They have a girl!"

Lily opened her eyes and made a face to the boys that said, ' _Yeah, no shit, honey_.' "Duh, where have you been? The one in the purple-ish armor is a-"

"No, not that one!" Caboose argued. "That's a boy. Obviously. I'm talking about the one in the pink armor."

"A girl?" Tucker cried, trying to look through the rifle. "Where? How come _they_ get a girl?"

Lily dropped her jaw and let out an dramatic gasp. "And what am I to you, chopped liver?"

Tucker turned with an apologetic look on his face, but he raised an eyebrow at her. "No offence, but I mean like a real girl."

This caused the captain to raise her eyebrows in shock. "A 'real girl?' What the hell does that make Tex and I?"

"I-I mean like-" Tucker spluttered, looking for an excuse. "You're obviously a girl, captain. A hot one, at that. But you're also, like, older than me. And you'd never go for me, you and I both know that. And Tex - she scares the shit out of me."

"So, according to your standards, a girl is a young, pretty, woman who is kind, sweet, and will bend to your every will and need?"

"...Yes?" Tucker answered unsurely.

Lily growled. "If I ever hear you say that women are only alive for men's enjoyment, I will not _hesitate_ to castrate you and make you eat it!"

Tucker looked extremely scared, but his eyes shifted in confusion. "What does 'castrate' mean again?"

Lily let out a loud groan and ignored him, yanking the rifle from Caboose, who immediately began to protest. She took a quick glance, peeking at the 'new pink girl' on Red Team, but snorted when she got a good look.

"That's not a girl, dumbasses, that's the rookie that stole our flag. Look, he even took his helmet off."

* * *

 **A/N: 'nother short chapter but there's only gonna be one more until season 1 is over and we're on to season two. I'm sorry if I seem more like descriptive and stuff when I'm writing the blues. I just feel like I know their characters better, especially Lillian. There might be more blue-centric chapters, but I'll definitely try with my red bbys. I feel like since Lily lost her memory, she's just as dumb as the other guys, but Reyes actually has some common sense and she's the smart one who's tired of everyone's shit. Idk lol, I love my smol moms.**

 **See you soon!**

 **~Saaaammmm**


	11. Chapter 11

_Last One Out, Hit The Lights (woops *chap 11)_

"Hey, Reyes."

"What?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Sam turned to glare at the maroon soldier to her left. "No. I never, _ever_ wonder why we're here."

Grif nodded in agreement, "Semper Fi, bitch."

Sam and Simmons turned to give Grif weird looks. "Sure."

"Heegakergerk!" Lopez twitched suddenly, startling all three of them.

"Whoa," Simmons said. "What's wrong with Lopez?"

Grif shrugged and turned away. "I don't care."

Simmons didn't take that for an answer. "Hey, Lopez, uh...you okay, man?"

" _Hay, muchachos, necesité darle... un aviso..._ _¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy el hablar en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!_ "

"Um..." Simmons turned away, "sure."

Reyes, however, knew what the heavy robot was saying, and turned to him in concern. "What are you talking about, _hombre_? All you speak is Spanish."

Lopez looked up at her with a panicked look (well, as panicked as a robot can get), and frantically shook his head. Reyes was worried it might fall off - it might actually since he was a robot. " _¡Yo no puedo hablar español!_ "

"Yeah, you said that already," Reyes said, rolling her eyes. Simmons and Grif stopped paying attention. "What's wrong?"

" _Escucha mé! ¡La bruja teva a matar!"_

"The captain? Or that freelancer? Cause, both of them are pretty mean, and-"

" _La negra que fija el tanque!_ "

Reyes nodded. "Right, she is a bitch. One hell of a woman, but kind of a bitch."

Lopez began waving his arms frantically. " _¡No tenemos tiempo para esta, mujer!_ _¡_ _Advierta a sus hombres!"_

"Jeez, okay, I will. No need to get hostile."

* * *

"Aw, crap. Captain, she's almost done fixing Sheila. You want me to radio Church and tell him what's going on?"

Lillian nodded, "Yeah, sounds good."

Before Tucker could even radio the dead man, Caboose raised his arm in the air and shook his hand frantically, like he was a student in class wanted to get the teacher's attention. "Oh, oh, oh, Tucker please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, please-"

"Yes, dude, You can be the one to radio Church this time," Tucker said, rolling his eyes. Lily smiled at the kind act.

Caboose cheered, "Thanks man," and turned on his radio. "Calling Church. Come in Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley."

Tucker and Lily quickly turned towards the standard issue blue soldier. "O'Malley?" they repeated at the same time.

"You said your name was Caboose."

"I never said that," Caboose shook his head, "you guys did."

Lily frowned. "But when you introduced yourself to me, you said 'Caboose,' not 'O'Malley,' or whatever."

Caboose shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. "Well, why didn't you correct yourself?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult," he answered. Lily silently 'aw'ed and gave him a smile.

"You're never difficult, sweetie."

Caboose smiled widely, and turned to speak into the radio again. "Come in Private Church. Do you copy. Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness." He awkwardly cleared his throat. "How is your progression?"

Lily slowly leaned towards Tucker and whispered, "Remind me to never let him radio anyone ever again. At all."

Tucker nodded, "Will do, Captain."

Lily nodded back and they stood up straight, waiting for Caboose to say something important. He listened to Church for a minute, before he turned back to Lily and Tucker.

"Um, he says he wants to talk to you, Miss Lily."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows, but before she could ask why, something else spoke.

"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."

"Oh, shit," Lily muttered.

Tucker agreed, "We got trouble."

* * *

" _Un tanque...grrrrrande,_ " Lopez was still attempting to communicate with Grif and Simmons, despite the fact that neither could understand. Reyes had explained everything to them in English, but they weren't paying attention. She decided it would be fine if they died and went down to the base to try and warn Donut and Sarge.

"Hey," Grif said loudly to Lopez. "I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak this language."

Simmons squinted his eyes at the dumb soldier. "What country? We're on an alien planet."

"What're you? A Communist?"

Simmons smacked his helmet where his forehead would have been, "This was so much easier when Sam was here."

"Who the hell's Sam?"

"I'm talking about Reyes, you dumbass. How do you not know her first name?"

"I don't know! Sarge doesn't even know she's a girl! But you're right, this would be a lot easier if she was here."

" _¿De qué_ _estas hablando? ¡Ella literalmente explico lo que paso y ustedes do follan simplemente ignorado ella!"_

Before either Grif or Simmons could retort that they still had no idea what he was saying, a big, loud shot hit the side of the base.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Son of a bitch!"

" _Hijo de puta!"_

* * *

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle."

"How do you think I feel? That's my damn rifle and I haven't even used it in, like, a million years."

"Church is getting mad at us."

"Oh. Well, that's a nice change of pace."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

"I told you bitches! But no one ever listens to me!"

"Shut up, Reyes! No one wants to listen to yer' yammerin!" Sarge yelled, getting into the Warthog. "Simmons! I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by."

"Roger that!"

Grif nodded slowly and stood back. "Yeah, I'm just...gonna stay here."

"Me, too."

"Yeah," Simmons snorted at fellow privates. "Stay here and guard this cement ramp. It's _vital_ to our success."

Grif and Reyes opted to ignore the cocky soldier as Sarge skidded by. Simmons hopped down into the gunner position, ready to fire. Sarge sped away.

The, the jeep blew up.

Again.

Simmons and Sarge made their way back to the ramp, defeated. Grif and Reyes didn't even try to hold back their snickers.

"Wow, back so soon?" Reyes teased.

"Yeah," Grif laughed, "win the war already?"

"Yeah, uh," Simmons turned to their fuming sergeant, "did you want to finish telling me that plan _now_ , Sarge?"

He grunted. "If we survive this, I'm gonna kill all three of ya. _Slowly_."

Grif kneeled down to Simmons to tease him some more, and Donut finally arrived from the inside of the base. His _lightish red_ armor was on, but his helmet off. Reyes looked over the gnarly scar on the side of his face where the bomb was. The skin was all pink and raised up, it almost looked like a lightning storm. He was partially blind in one eye.

Reyes had a similar scar on her hand and arm, when she had went to grab the grenade. It wasn't as bad, but she thought it looked cool.

"Hey," Donut cried, squinting from the sudden brightness, "what're you guys doing up here?!"

"That chick in the black armor's back!" Grif answered.

"What chick?" Donut asked. "You mean the one that stuck a grenade to my head and did this?" He pointed to the scar.

Simmons nodded, "That's the one."

Donut clenched his fingers and looked down at the tank, which was till quite a ways away, and had the black armored chick in it. "Ohhh, I've been waiting for this," he said, giving an evil smile. He ran over to the edge of the base, grenade in hand. "Hey bitch!" he screamed. "Remember me?! I saved something for ya!"

Snd he threw the grenade; it sailed through the air.

And sailed.

And sailed.

And sailed.

And - "Holy shit, Donut." - sailed.

And sailed.

Until it finally landed in the tank.

"Hell yeah!" Donut screeched. "Three points, you dirty whore!"

'Dirty whore' echoed through the canyon. The tank blew up.

" _Dios, mio! No!"_ And Lopez was off running. " _Tejas! Tejas!_ "

"Uh," Grif's eyes followed the sprinting robot, "where's Lopez going?"

Sarge sighed sadly. "To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. _Mano e mano_. What a brave little _compadre_. Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. _Adios, amigo... Adios_."

Reyes raised an eyebrow. "Um? He's not? That's not even Lopez, I think it's-"

"Shh, don't ruin the moment, son," Sarge wept.

Simmons frowned, "Shouldn't we help him?"

"No," Sarge said more forcefully. "That would ruin the moment, too."

"..Alright."

* * *

Lily was honestly in shock. First of all, she hadn't expected the grenade to actually reach Tex. She was, like, a million feet away; Donut had a _really strong arm holy shit_. Anyway, neither did the captain expect the bomb to kill Tex.

But it did.

And the woman couldn't help but let out a few tears because of it. The freelancer was one of her oldest friends, and one of the only links she had to the past she still didn't fully remember.

"Man," Tucker sighed. "Church is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our ass. Come on Caboose, let's get back to base."

Lily didn't have any energy, or motive, to scold Tucker for being so rude. Though, no one else (besides Church) had even really liked Tex, so she supposed his reaction was...understandable.

Caboose shook his head, but started walking with him. "I told you, my name isn't Caboose. My name...is _O'Malley."_

Lillian Yang was too busy grieving to hear Caboose's voice distort to sound like Tex's AI, Omega.

* * *

 **A/N: What what? Yes, season 1 is over! Who's ready to hop into season 2? Bc I am!**

 **:-) See ya soon! If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, leave a review and I might have some sort of A/N like chapter before the next season starts (or I'll just have a really long A/N in one chapter bc apparently people don't like A/N chapters and will report you (yes I'm still satly))**

 **Anyway, yeah, ily all sm and thank you for sticking with me during the duration of my shitty content and super late updates. Idk, it was like I didn't really have motivation. But I've got it back! I know these chapters have been kind of shirt (at least to me) and I will try to go into more detail with the characters and stuff. As of now, I'm basically writing down what happened in the show and incorporating my characters, which is kind of lame.**

 **So yeah.**

 **Anyways, later my wonderful people!**

 **~Saaammmmmmm**


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